Ms Swan
by SopranoandBass
Summary: Edward never came back after he left in New Moon, Bella goes to college and has the normal life that Edward wanted her to have. Now, across the continent and at the age of 35, Bella is Edward's English teacher! Rated T for language, canon pairings
1. Chapter 1

Hello! This is a complete turn around from the other story I've been writing, so please R&R (Read and Review!) with your comments and questions!

Happy reading!

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter One**

I turned on the lights. "Ali! Alice, dear? Sweetheart, it's time to get up!" My daughter groaned. "Sweets, get up now please! You don't want to be late to school; do you want to be the last one there?"

My four year old daughter Alice kept her eyes tightly shut, feigning sleep. "How many more minutes, sweetheart," I said, compromising.

"Ten." She said.

"How about two? It's _almost_ as much!"

"Alright Mommy."

I sighed and exited her room, shutting off the lights again. I went into my own room across the hall and found my glasses case, which I tucked into my purse. Into my bag went my grade book and lesson plans and the students' work. I also put in a copy of Shakespeare's collected works; we were starting our Shakespeare lessons today. We would be covering him for a month.

Shakespeare was a sore subject for me; I had once compared my life to his most famous play: Romeo and Juliet. After my Romeo confessed that his passion was dying and left, my Paris, Jacob Black, put my pieces back together. We even dated until my Forks High School graduation. But then I went off to college and we broke up, knowing better than to try out a long distance relationship. I was single at the University of Alaska and I graduated after five years to teach English at a high school on the east coast of the continental US. I had to get as far away from Washington as possible and leave all of my memories behind me. What I never expected was that they would follow me to New Jersey.

I now teach English 3, 4, and AP along with an in-depth study session about various great authors. My favorite is still Jane Austin. When I was thirty-one, I took a break from teaching and went to China for a year. I now speak fluent Mandarin and have an adopted daughter who originated from a small province near Hong Kong. I named her Alice as a baby. I still remember fondly my once future family, but I have nothing against them. They are immortal, I am not. It was natural for the stronger, faster, smarter beings to move on from the temporary entertainment of an ever-changing human who paled in comparison to their beauty and grace.

I've now been teaching for ten years, if you don't count the year in China, and I consider myself to be a good teacher. Believe it or not, I still remember my high school years as clearly as a vampire could. So I know how it is to have an awful teacher. The teachers had been alerted to a few new students coming into the school today, a family much like my Cullens had been, except that they were not. I had decided to make this day extra fun just in case one of those poor souls landed in my advanced English classes. I remembered being a new student as well. It is absolutely terrifying.

After another minute, I went into Alice's room to wake her again. "Ali!" I called softly, "You've got to get out of bed now so that we're not late!"

"Alright Mommy." She said, yawning and scratching her head. I picked her up and carried her to the bathroom where I brushed her teeth and combed her hair. Then I went into her room and picked out some clothing. She had gone from the bathroom, and I found her lying on my bed. My girl was sneaky!

"Alice Renee Swan!" I said strictly.

She popped up. "I was just _pretending_ Mom."

"Of course you were sweetheart." I put her clothing on and sent her downstairs ahead of me so that I could straighten my hair and clothing before joining her and making her a bowl of lucky charms cereal. I found her packing her own backpack. She was starting to do that now. She was one of the oldest in her pre-k and the teachers impressed that upon her more than ever now that her birthday was in a few weeks. She was even learning how to tie her own shoes. I was impressed! I didn't remember tying my shoes until I was in first grade.

I pulled her lunch out of the fridge and rushed her out into the car, putting my bags into the trunk and buckling her into her car seat. Being a single mom was hard, but I loved it.

Alice's Pre-k was in West Orange, on the way to Montclair, where I taught at the public high school. It was only about ten minutes there from Maplewood, where we lived in an apartment, and then another ten minutes to Montclair.

I dropped her off for early care at the pre-k, confirming her usual Monday afternoon playdate with Frankie, Colin's mom. I always had a staff meeting on Monday. I hurried off to school.

I got there by seven-fifteen, about half of an hour before school started. Jonathan, Kate and Shariya arrived for extra help around seven-thirty, so I helped them with their respective assignments for around twenty minutes before they were sent shuttling off to their respective classes as the bell rang.

I started to straighten desks for my English 4 class; I checked the roster to see that nobody new was added. I started writing on the board as the class came in.

It was a double period class, so I had twenty five students for an hour and a half before I then taught my third period Classics In Depth class.

Then I had to leave the room for a fourth period Math class and taught another double period class, AP English, in another room. I had sixth period as my lunch break, so I was off then and I went to the Starbucks a few blocks down to do some work for half an hour before I had to go back to school. I went back to my original classroom.

My final class of the day was English 3. I was excited. Time for Shakespeare! As the bell rang, students began to file into my classroom. I turned to write on the board.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

I turned around and asked, "What do you guys know?" really excitedly. A few hands went up, and I called on Kaylie, who started rattling off various things. She was really very well read and everything that she said was correct.

I nodded and was about to call another person when I heard a knock on the door. It sometimes locked, so I ran over to open it. There was a young man outside, he was obviously a junior, for I was teaching a junior class. His face was hidden, and he was looking intently at a schedule.

Then he looked up and in a crystal clear voice asked, "Is this English 3?"

I was shocked, scared, horrified, crushed, and broken all in one second. Everything came rushing back. How he left me in the woods, alone and broken…told me he didn't want me…My hands started shaking, I had to grip the door harder to keep my students from seeing. Edward Cullen was standing right in front of me; he was new to Montclair High. I had compared the new students to the Cullens, apparently they _were_ the Cullens.

I took several deep breaths before I looked into his face. I looked just as shocked and horrified as I was. "Yes," I said my voice higher than usual. I opened the door the rest of the way and invited him in. "You must be a new student." I said shakily.

"Yes," he said, looking pained. Oh! Of course, my scent must still torture him.

I took several steps backward and pointed to a seat next to Kaylie; the two smartest people in the class could sit together. "You can sit there." I told him.

He smiled at me, "Thank you."

I ran over to my computer and looked at the roster. "You must be Edward Stewart." How odd, they had changed their last name.

"Yes."

I smiled, trying to get back into my excited mood, but I couldn't get the butterflies out of my stomach. "Well, while I'm over here, I may as well call roll." I went down the list of names quickly, clicking present for all of them. I had perfect attendance. "Perfect attendance everyone!" I said. A few students laughed.

I went back to the board. "Alright," I said, "to recap for Edward," It was hard to say his name, "We have just started our Shakespeare unit today. Do you know anything about him that you'd like to share?"

"No." he said shortly.

I had forgotten, it must be hard for him to breathe. "That's alright." I said.

I tried to resume the lesson, but couldn't a headache was growing in my head, and my stomach was flipping inside out and backwards every seven seconds. I had to sit down. Less than half of the way into the first period of the double period I stopped the class.

"I have to go to the nurse, I think. All of you turn to page nineteen in your books and begin reading Romeo and Juliet please? I would like a summary of the first fifty pages due on Monday. We'll be discussing more then." I grabbed my purse quickly, forgetting about my grade book and bag, before escaping quickly from the classroom and calling a security guard to watch my class for an hour.

I walked quickly down to the office. "I have to go for an hour," I said, "I'll be back after school for the meeting, though. It's an emergency." The secretary, a lovely woman, said that she would sign me out and I headed for my car.

I couldn't go home, I would only be there for twenty minutes before I had to head back, so I went back to Starbucks. I parked aggressively and then walked slowly into Starbucks with my purse clutched in my hand. It was emptier than I'd ever seen it; I guessed that during school/work hours, they didn't get much business. Ruthie was there, she was often at the counter when I came for lunch. I tried to smile at her, but couldn't. I went to sit at the furthest table away from the door. I dropped my purse to the floor and bonked my head on the table several times before just leaving it there. Away from Edward, the butterflies had already gone, and my headache was slowly fading.

After half of an hour, it got uncomfortable to sit like that, so I put my head in my hands instead.

"Hey, honey, do you want a drink? It's on the house."

It was rude to take advantage of the seating without ordering something, so I ordered a decaf black coffee. "What's up?" Ruthie said as she placed the coffee on the table.

"Nothing." I said, lifting my head, "Just boyfriend problems."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. An ex showed up at school today. I had to get out of there."

"Ooh," she sucked in a sympathetic breath, "that's awful, girl."

"Yeah."

"Well, you can stay as long as you'd like. As I said, the coffee's on the house today."

"Thanks, but I can pay." I reached down to pull out my wallet.

Ruthie raised one eyebrow. "I _never_ give out free coffee, so you'd better take this offer."

I sighed and put my wallet away, "Thanks."

"Of course."

It was two-thirty by the time I left Starbucks. Ruthie gave me a brownie to go. I checked in with the secretary and went back up to my classroom slowly, afraid of what may be in there. And I was right to be afraid. When I entered the room there was a vampire sitting in a student's seat.

He looked up as I walked in. I bit my lip and ignored him. I placed my purse beside my desk and started to log in some grades to the computer. Kaylie got a spectacular participation grade for the day. I sent a few quick e-mails, and when I looked up he still hadn't gone. I took the brownie out of my purse and unwrapped it to eat a bit before the meeting started. The meeting was just down the hall, so I had five minutes left before I really had to go.

I breathed out. "Edward" I said, "Go home. The school day has been over for fifteen minutes. Your siblings are probably waiting for you."

"They've gone home without me." He said. "I've told them that you are my teacher. They understood my need to stay late and talk to you."

"Well, I've been here for ten minutes and you haven't said a word."

"I was waiting for you."

Of course he would wait for me to start conversation, always the gentleman. "Well, talk now then. I have a staff meeting in five minutes."

"I'm sorry." He said.

"I know."

"I've missed you."

"Bullshit." I didn't want to talk about us, not now, not ever.

"I've never heard you curse before."

"No, you haven't. There are a lot of things that you don't know about me."

"I'm sure."

This was getting me nowhere and getting me angry. "Of course you're sure, goddamn freak! -it-all Cullen." I spat at him, "Well get this: I'm thirty–five, I wear reading glasses, I teach at Montclair High School, I dated a fucking _werewolf_ for a year and I have a four year old _daughter_!"

He was hurt, I could tell. Thank goodness nobody had heard my little outburst. I sucked in a deep breath. "I'm sorry." I said, "I should not have exploded like that. You may leave now Mr. Stewart."

He got up to go with the usual grace. He stepped out of the classroom and I realized that I had something else to say to him. I ran to the door, he was only half-way down the hall. "Edward!" I called softly. I knew he would hear. He turned. "Tell Alice that I named my daughter after her." I saw the sadness set into his eyes, and I withdrew into the classroom.

I logged out of the grading system and packed my things to go to the staff-meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again! Have a happy holiday and enjoy this next bit. Thank you to everybody who reviewed!

**xpaigex**

**Illusiional Ice**

**dreamgirl1964**

**msnooky**

**scootz12323**

**divine divinity**

**angelic harp**

**zanaib**

**Miss Skywalker**

**XxClairesyxX**

**jacobblackforever**

**skimmerscm**

**twilighter97**

**BellaChristopher**

**Grace in Chaos**

**Anna562**

**Angels And Airwaves**

**Tear of Mist**

**twilighter09**

**crystal stardust**

**toria**

**Olympic1340**

**v son sayian**

and

**twilightglr61692**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter Two**

"Thanks so much Frankie. I've had a tough day: it's just been awful."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Frankie was about forty and in her third marriage, her first happy marriage. She'd definitely had more than her share of romances, both good and bad.

I would have loved to talk to her, but I couldn't. If I told her the truth, that my ex-boyfriend is still 17 and is now my student, she would have me committed. "Yes, but not today. I'll call you, alright?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Frankie was one of my only real friends in New Jersey. I still kept in touch with Angela, but only saw her when I went to Forks to see Charlie. I still e-mailed her. She was a psychologist and guidance counselor for Forks High students. She was happily married to Ben and expecting her third child.

Frankie was my real confidante, though, she was close enough that we could have private conversations, and I was secretly hoping that Alice would marry Colin in the future; he was a great little kid.

I extracted Alice from Frankie's house, bringing her home.

"Hey sweetheart, how was your day?"

"Good. Guess what?"

"What?"

"Colin says that he's gonna buy me a present for Christmas!"

"That's great Alice!" I didn't mention that Christmas was three months away and by that time, Colin would have forgotten all about it. I didn't want to upset her, and I was sure that she wouldn't remember by then either.

When we pulled up to the house, it was already dark. Alice had already eaten at Frankie's house, so I gave her a bath as soon as we got home. I dressed her and brushed her teeth before putting her to bed. I wanted to stay up and grade or write lesson plans, but I didn't feel in the mood. I skipped dinner but instead went to the freezer and cut myself a huge piece of ganache torte. The decadent chocolate filled my mouth and overloaded my taste buds. I turned on the TV to watch reruns of various shows. Nothing was on, so I ended up turning to HBO and watching an old version of Robin Hood. But I wasn't really watching. I was trying to understand why Edward would stay behind and talk to me. I didn't see why he would be sorry. I had moved on. He wasn't the central focus of my life anymore, just like he had hoped. Maybe he was sorry for coming back and complicating my life even more. Well, I was sorry too.

But there was one thing that I was proud of. I had moved on, forgiven him and his family for leaving me like that, and embraced my human life. The one thing I hadn't done was forgotten. When he stood in front of me earlier that day, the reason that I had to leave school was not because all of the memories came back to me. It was because I realized how exact and flawless my memories were. I could not ignore it. My human mind was not a sieve; it was just as good as any vampire mind. The only explanation that I could come up with was that I really had been meant to be a vampire.

I strongly believe in fate, and I knew that Esme was fated to become a vampire. From what Edward had told me before they left me I had figured out that every event in Esme's short human life led up to her being turned into a vampire. The same was for Carlisle, Rosalie and Jasper. And looking back, I had long since decided that it had been in my fate to become a vampire. But Edward was placed in my way by the powers that be, and thus that was one reality that never came to pass. Like Alice's visions, that future had changed. I knew it.

Alice, my daughter, became my future. I was no longer on a one-way track to immortality. I was glad of it, too. I couldn't doom Alice to having a non-changing mother that thirsted for her blood. I was no longer inclined in any way to become a vampire. I had wished it for a while, wanting to scare Sam Uley who had 'stolen' Jacob away for a few weeks and wanting to run after Edward, to reclaim him. But Jacob had put my pieces back together and closed the hole in my chest with his spectacular mechanical talent. And I no longer thirsted for such a future. But the Cullens had left their mark on me. I would never give them up even if the hope of a possible Bella Cullen had left Forks with them. Bella Swan was still living, and living strong.

But that brought me back to the original question: What was Edward's reasoning for coming back to talk to me after school. I thought for a few moments and thought of only one reason. It was guilt. I wondered if Alice had told him about how Victoria tracked me and almost killed me one night. I wondered if she told him how Jacob had immediately phased and called the pack. I wondered if she told him how they pulled her off of me as she was sticking her needle sharp fangs into my skin. I wonder if she told him how I tried to keep Jacob from saving me, I wonder if Alice told Edward how the pack had to hold me down to get the venom out. I was dating Jacob, but my wish to be a vampire was so strong that I would have done anything.

It had been the ordeal with James all over again, but a thousand times worse, because I wanted to be a vampire so much more. But I had told Jacob how Edward sucked the venom out of my bloodstream in Phoenix already and Jacob had done the same thing, but he hadn't swallowed any of my blood. Suck and spit. I had gone into a deep depression for months after that, again. But Jacob helped me see why becoming a vampire would be bad. He reasoned with me that Edward would not want me any more or less if I was a vampire. He reasoned with me that I would be leaving everything I ever held dear; he reasoned with me that I had an entire life left to live.

So if Edward was guilty, why didn't he apologize better? And if he was guilty enough that he would disturb what little peace I had left by coming here, why didn't he just say so! And if he was going to stay in my class, how would he communicate that guilt to me?

But my reason, guilt, didn't go very far. I really, honestly, could only think of one reason why Edward would come back to me. And I refused to let myself think that. I was not that much healed.

When Robin Hood was over I turned off the TV and got ready for bed. Alice was already asleep. I shut off her light and took a book out of her bed. She liked pretending to read. She was actually learning that way. I, being an English teacher, encouraged her to be around books as much as she wanted. She only was allowed to watch TV on weekends and if she wanted something to do, she would read, or pretend to read. I went back to my room, I was exhausted even though I'd had a physically relaxing day. The mental stress was killing me. Maybe I'd take a day off from school tomorrow. I'd have to see in the morning.

I woke at five-thirty and stumbled blindly into the bathroom. I checked on Alice on my way to my room after I was out of the shower, she was still sleeping soundly. I had this odd sense of foreboding, though. It felt like someone was watching me. Thankfully the feeling disappeared soon.

It was cloudy and raining. Not unusual weather for the middle of September, but awful to me. I hated the rain, but I hated it especially when Edward and the Cullens were in town. Did I really just think 'Edward and the Cullens'? That would make a good band name, actually. I smiled at the thought and turned on the morning news as I dressed and dried my hair. I pulled my unruly brown tresses into a quick bun and speared it with two chopsticks. I went to wake up Alice.

"Ali! Alice, dearest, it's time to get up!" It was the same routine every morning. She remained perfectly still with her eyes squeezed shut. "How many more minutes do you want, Ali?" I asked.

"Ten!"

"How about five?" We were early today, and thus I could afford to be generous.

"Alright. That's more than two!" She was so pleased. She was my pride and joy. I just loved her with all I had. The entire force of my love was fantastical. I loved her more than I ever loved Edward or Jacob. I loved her more than both of those irrational loves combined, because this was real. I knew that she loved me, and I knew that she couldn't leave me. Not ever. And I wouldn't leave her for anything.

I went to pack my bag. I placed into it a few extra things, but didn't really need to do anything, as I hadn't unpacked it from the night before. I brought it to my kitchen and set it on the table. I screamed.

Edward was sitting at my table.

Alice had heard my scream and woke up. She started yelling. "Mommy! Mommy!! Where are you!! Mommy!" I heard her close to tears.

"I'm coming sweetheart!" I ran up the stairs to her room. She wasn't there. "Where are you, Alice!?"

"I'm here Mommy!" My little girl was in my room, obviously having run to my room after I screamed.

"I'm sorry Ali, there was a spider downstairs and it scared me."

"Oh."

"Well, hey, you're awake now. Why don't we get ready for the day?"

"Fine." My daughter huffed and crossed her arms.

"Come on, let's go." I prodded her gently toward the bathroom door. She stomped the rest of the way. I brushed her hair and teeth; I pulled her hair back into two short braids and dressed her in a small pink dress with white tights and handed her a pair of shoes. "Put these on, alright, and then come down for breakfast!"

She reached for the shoes and I flew down the stairs toward the vampire sitting in my kitchen. "What the _hell_ are you doing in my apartment?" I hissed at Edward. "You really scared Alice; I don't know _what_ you think you were doing by coming here, but get out, now. You are my student, remember? "

"Yes. I remember, but our conversation ended badly yesterday. I wanted to apologize. I was trying to hide my emotions from you, but I ended up seeming like a jerk."

"Edward. There is something I want to make clear to you." I was seeing red. How _dare_ he come into my house, and how _dare_ he bother me. And, most of all, how _dare_ he disturb Alice even one bit! I used to be his girlfriend, but now I am his English teacher. "I am your English teacher, and you are my English 3 student who just moved here from, where, LA?"

Edward's jaw tensed.

"And let me tell you something about that conversation ending badly yesterday. It ended. And it ended for good. If I want to talk to you, I will talk to you. If you want to talk to me, come before or after school. I don't want you at my house. Ever. And stay away from Alice. If you even look at her I will kill you. And I have Jacob's number on speed dial. He could be here in four days if I asked him to be. And he could rip you limb from limb. Now get out, Alice is coming downstairs."

"Can I ask you one question?"

"Yes. One."

"Is she yours?"

"Alice? Alice is my daughter, yes. Now get out. I'll let you out the door, so that you don't have to go through the window as I'm sure you did last night."

His lips pressed together. I heard Alice's footsteps coming down the stairs. "Get out." I whispered between gritted teeth, "And if you ever talk to me as anything other than your teacher again, I will have you destroyed."

He saw himself out. I quickly got together a bit of cereal for Alice and put together a sandwich and a banana and a drink for her lunch. We hurried off to school.

I didn't go to Starbucks that day. I went to a different café for lunch. I was pleased that my morning had been uneventful. A few people asked if I was alright. My abrupt departure from class the day before had apparently made its way around the school. Nothing is a secret at Montclair High School.

I was dreading my last class of the day.

I walked into the room and most of the class was already seated, Edward included. I divided the class into groups of five and one group of four and set them to discussing Romeo and Juliet. I sat down at my desk to do the grading that I had missed the night before. I pulled out my reading glasses and placed them on the tip of my nose. Until now I'd thought nothing of it, but now with Edward in the room I felt very old. But, of course, he was older than I. He must have been over 120 by now.

I started to grade.

In Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin, Mr. Darcy is a haughty arrogant…

They went on and on. I usually enjoyed reading what my students had to say, but it was getting tedious.

"Alright, class." I said, after the bell rang for the last period of the day, "We have only eighth period to do something fun, what do you suggest?"

One kid, Henry, raised his hand. "Yeah?" I asked him.

"How about we play pictionary?"

"Alright." I said. It was something that I had done that the beginning of the year and the kids had liked it. I went into my copy of Romeo and Juliet to find some fun vocabulary.

I called two kids to the board. Angelo and Rachel both tried to draw pictures of a Friar. Kaylie was the first to guess. Edward was staring at me the entire last period. It was very disconcerting, but I had better things to worry about. I was confident that he wouldn't bother me again.

When the bell rang for the end of school at 2:33 all of the kids rushed out of class. All except for Richard and Edward.

"I'll be right with you, Edward." I said.

Richard was asking about the homework. I answered his sparse and general questions before he left. "Yes, Edward?" I said pleasantly. I was determined to treat him like any other student.

"Alice wants to talk to you." He said.

"My daughter is at school."

"You know who I mean. She's devastated. She wishes that she were in your class. But she's pretending to be a sophomore this year."

"She'll be in my class next year, then. I'm sure that she'll live. She has who?"

"Mr. Athian."

"Oh, he'll be a good teacher for her." He was young and fit and energetic.

"I know. But you'll be even better."

"Thank you. What did you want to talk to me about? Oh, of course, I have to give you various assignments and such." I dug through my bag and handed Edward a syllabus for his parents to sign along with a few assignment papers and a rubric. "This," I gestured toward the syllabus, "Is for your parent and you to sign. I want it back on Monday." He raised an eyebrow, I ignored him. I pointed toward the grading rubric and explained that to him. He seemed less than pleased.

"Bella." He interrupted me.

"I am called Ms. Swan at this school, Edward." I was being harsh, but I had no desire to become involved in something that was only going to break my heart again.

"Ms. Swan, then, are you just going to ignore my sister's plea to you? We're all suffering, but her most of all."

"I'll talk to her. When is her lunch period?"

"Sixth."

I laughed, "That's underclassmen lunch." I commented.

"She knows, she's upset."

I laughed again, "I'm sure that she is! Tell her to meet me at Starbucks tomorrow during 6th lunch. I'll drive her back to school."

"Thank you. From all of us."

"You're welcome Mr. Stewart. Oh, hey, hold on a minute." I dug in my purse and found a recent picture of Alice and wrote on the back of it 'Alice Renee Swan'. I handed it to Edward, "Give this to Alice. I'll see you tomorrow." I took off my reading glasses and put them in my bag. I closed out various applications on my computer and tucked my papers away. It was then that I noticed the syllabus sitting on my desk, already signed by Carlise. Edward had forged it. Jesus Christ, I was ready to shoot him, if only wooden stakes could actually kill vampires. I had to call his parents now. It was school policy. Oh boy was he going to regret this.

The phone was answered after two rings, it was a male voice, I recognized it to be Emmett, but I ignored that. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Dr. Stewart? I'm Edward's English teacher, Ms. Swan, and I –"

Emmett cut me off, "Bella?"

"Ms. Swan." I corrected him sternly, "I take it that you are not Edward's father."

"No, Bella, I'm Emmett, remember me?" He spoke very quietly.

I clenched my fist. "May I please speak to Edward's father?" I couldn't lose my professionalism. If I did, I would break down into tears.

"Yes," Emmett whispered, "He's right here."

"Hello?" said a voice that was distinctly Carlisle.

"Hello, is this Dr. Stewart?"

"Yes."

"I'm Ms. Swan, your son Edward is in my period 7/8 English 3 class, and I handed him a syllabus today for you to sign. I assume that you did not see it, because it was turned in to me, signed, seconds later." I could hear my voice becoming angry. "Dr. Cu– I mean, Stewart, that is not acceptable behavior, and I wanted to make sure that you knew that foraging another person's signature is a federal crime."

"Ah," Carlisle was overcome with some emotion that I did not recognize, "I did know that. I'm terribly sorry. I shall have a few words with Edward when he comes home."

I wanted to ask where he was, but I restrained myself, "Thank you, and Dr. Stewart,"

"Yes?"

"I will be sending home another syllabus, and if you don't see it, please give me a call. If you call the Montclair High School office, they'll give you my extension."

"Alright, thank you Ms. Swan."

"Thank _you_." I hung up.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

**jacobblackforever**

**twilighter97**

**chocolatease**

**Illusiional Ice**

**angelinvestigationsfan**

**GrlWithoutAName**

**msnooky**

**divine divinity**

**Feenrai**

**Tear of Mist**

**Secretly-A-Vampiire**

**crystal stardust**

**Angels And Airwaves**

**buttonbit**

**Olympic1340**

**BellaChristopher**

**twilightgrl61692**

**Grace in Chaos**

**Missy Skywaker**

**twilighter09**

**XxClairesyxX**

And this is from Edward's point of view. It is the last few chapters, but I skipped a large part of Edward's evening. I didn't want to give it away…I suppose that you can guess now. Have a wonderful holiday, if you aren't doing so already, and a safe and healthy New Year! Unfortunately, I'm going away, so don't count on an update until about a week into January. Sorry!

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter Three**

**EPOV**

When I walked into school that fateful day in October I didn't know what to expect. I had left my beautiful Bella less than twenty years before, and my vampire mind had not yet recovered. Esme and Alice had the idea to move to the opposite side of the country, despite the inordinate amount of sun in New Jersey, to get away from Forks. Far away from Forks.

I was expecting another four years of purgatory, but this time I got to be older. While I usually started as a freshman, this year I started High School as a junior. Esme's reasoning was that if we hated it, we could leave sooner, and there was no question: we would not love this town. However, Montclair was voted one of the most liberal towns in the USA, so most likely we would not be called out for our strange pairing that was _sort_ of like incest or for our pale skin, strange eating compulsions, and habitual vacations. That would make up for the brilliance of the sun. Not to mention that Montclair was one of the ten most tree canopied townships in New Jersey. There was plenty of shade.

We started as usual. We introduced ourselves to the principal and secretary, both of which were female and easily dazzled by our vampire charms. I had a strange schedule, but I'd had worse. Esme registered me for simple classes, in order that I would not have to even pay attention in class. She didn't realize how many answers I picked out of teacher-minds even without that. The only person I couldn't read was…I didn't want to think about her now. Actually, I thought I could smell her in the school. She had definitely been in the office that morning, if it was her. She could be in this town and her child had a potent smell, or someone just smelled like her, or it was just my imagination, thinking up ways to meet her here where none really existed. I hoped it was the last choice, for I balked at the thought of her having a child. Unfortunately for me she was thirty-five by now, and thus there was no way that she hadn't moved on like I wanted her to.

My day was uneventful, the normal first-day-of-school. It was dull, my classes were insanely stupid, but that was nothing new. And being in a classroom full of children was just as aggravating as it had been in Forks, if not more, because we had been avoiding all human contact for almost twenty years before we came here. I could only imagine Jasper's pain. I reached throughout the school for his mind; I stretched my senses, widening my horizons so that I could find him, and came upon an oddity.

Although Bella's scent had long since disappeared from my consciousness, here was another shielded mind, one that I could not penetrate. I wanted to look into it further, find out what classroom it was in and go find this person. There had never been another who could deflect my power like Bella. Maybe it was not as uncommon as I thought. But I did not have the chance, because my Math teacher asked me a question, I answered by picking the answer out of his head. But it had retracted my senses and I was left too spent to extend that far again. The closed mind must have been on the other side of the building. I did some speculation, even though I could not investigate fully. Maybe these shielded minds were more common than my coven and I had thought. Maybe it was because we avoided sunny locales that we did not see any of these shields…after all, before I knew Bella she had lived in Phoenix almost all of her life. Maybe it had something to do with the sun, maybe the sun's rays shielded the mind…I wouldn't have known. I always thought that Bella was the only one.

That class ended and I had fifth period lunch. I sat with Rosalie, alone, for Emmett had fourth period lunch and Alice and Jasper had sixth period lunch. Yes, this would be hell. I still had not forgiven Rosalie for being so unkind to my love, although I had forgiven Jasper for trying to bite her and Rosalie had forgiven me for loving her. Ours was still a hostile relationship. Rosalie said something, but I was tuning her out.

I turned to her, "What?"

_I found her scent today, and I followed it, but when I got to the classroom she was gone._ Rosalie thought seriously.

"Which classroom?" I asked desperately. I knew that it was impossible that she was still around, waiting for me, but it was possible that she had a daughter who could lead me to her, or a son. And it also gave me hope! I wasn't going crazy after all!

_Room 205 in the main building._

And my hopes skyrocketed. If her daughter/son was in the main building she was probably an upperclassman and I would most likely run into her before the year was out. And I may possible have a class with her next year. If I could dazzle her child, maybe I could get close to _her._

I wanted to see her so badly that I was thinking about her all through lunch as I sat with Rosalie on the steps of the amphitheatre.

And then I had sixth period orchestra. I was to play piano, but when he asked, I said that I played any instrument, and it was true. So he asked whether or not I would be willing to take various places when people were absent. I was horrified, but gave my consent.

My last class was an English class, it was a double period class. I walked up the stairs from the orchestra room on the first floor. My English class was in room 205. It was the same room that Rosalie had smelled my Bella in.

I got there and the door was locked. I could have looked in the window, but I was busy checking that this was the right room. Rosalie said that Bella's scent had left this room but I smelled that she had entered recently and not come out yet, and that was fairly recently. I also sensed some of her scent lingering in the room. She was definitely in there, and had gone in a lot. And it was definitely her scent. What was my Bella doing at Montclair High?

And a horrible thought occurred to me. Maybe she was a vampire now! Maybe another vampire had caught up to her when we left. Maybe she had been changed and this was her first run through High School? Oh my God, this was exactly what I had wanted to prevent. But, or course, I ruled that out right away, my throat was burning. I wanted her just as much as I wanted her that first day in Biology, but I had better self control by now. I wouldn't massacre anyone. In fact, I would kill to look at her, to talk to her, but not to eat her.

I triple checked that this was the right room and knocked on the door. I took a deep breath, I was sure that Bella's scent would be like a train wreck inside. I needed to get air now.

I had to stop shaking; I knew that Bella was in this room, did I want her to see me like this?

I gripped my schedule tighter and felt the fabric of the paper ripping underneath my fingers, I didn't care. I had this schedule memorized anyway. I heard a slow human jog to the door and then it opened. Bella's scent hit me full force. I kept my head down to avoid having to receive it full in the face.

But it would be rude not to look at the person I was talking to. I looked up and asked, "Is this English 3?"

And then I realized who the teacher was. I was flabbergasted. Bella Swan, my Bella, and she was now Ms. Swan, my English teacher. Unless she was married and I had to call her something else. Her hands gripped the door and doorframe tighter and I could tell that she was trembling.

She took long breaths to calm herself before speaking. "Yes," she squeaked, "You must be a new student." She invited me in.

I was horrified; I would have to spend two periods with her every day? This was torture. I couldn't believe this; I couldn't act like her student, could I? But there were no other available general English classes for juniors. "Yes." I said.

She moved further back from me and instructed me where to sit. I smiled and thanked her.

She sat at her computer, "You must be Edward Stewart." She said, she looked confused that we had changed our name from Cullen to Stewart, it was necessary. We could not remain Cullens that soon after our escapade in Forks. We were rather well known there, due to Bella and my relationship, and we know how fast word spreads.

I said, "Yes." I didn't want to use up too much of my air supply. I could already hear some of the thoughts from the teens around me, the boys were jealous and worried, and the girls were fawning and drooling. Just like usual.

Bella seemed like a fun teacher, "Well, while I'm over here, I may as well call roll." She called everyone's name, and everyone was there. She was very cheerful as she announced that. A few people laughed. I was not among them.

She went back to the board, "Alright," she said, "to recap for Edward," she tripped over my name, "We have just started our Shakespeare unit today. Do you know anything about him that you'd like to share?"

"No." I was almost out of air.

She seemed to come to some sort of realization. "That's alright." she told me softly.

I had only been in the classroom for about twenty minutes before Bella sat down at her desk and made this announcement. "I have to go to the nurse, I think. All of you turn to page nineteen in your books and begin reading Romeo and Juliet please? I would like a summary of the first fifty pages due on Monday. We'll be discussing more then." I wasn't surprised, she had been looking progressively worse throughout the class. She left without her bag. My first instinct was to gather her things and run after her, but I stopped myself. She was still called , but who knew what was going on.

A security guard came and watched the class while she was gone. When the final bell rang, I left class. I hadn't taken one breath throughout the last hour and a half. When I got the parking lot I had a huge problem. "Alice!" I called, I saw _her_ first but Jasper was hanging off of her of course and Rosalie was following me. Emmett was still nowhere to be found. But then he appeared as if from nowhere. He thought he was hilarious.

Alice turned to me, "Yeah?"

"She's my teacher," I said softly. Alice looked confused, and then comprehension lit up her face.

"Bella." She breathed. It was not a question, but a statement.

"Why didn't you see?"

"You told me not to! Remember?" She quoted me, "Don't be looking for her future, either. We've done enough damage.' And now we've run into her thanks to you."

"Well, I just came down to say that I'm staying late to talk to her."

Rosalie's eyes bugged, and Alice's did too. Emmett and Jasper seemed unfazed. Jasper had withdrawn from anything having to do with Bella, as he still blamed himself for our departure. And I'm pretty sure that Emmett didn't care, he wanted us back together.

Alice was the first so speak, "What!" she screeched. "What are you trying to do? Ruin her life again? Listen Edward, you told me not to look for her future, but I was already so attuned to her, some things are unavoidable. Edward, look into my mind." _I'm sorry, I've tried to keep these things from you, but now you need to see them._ She thought to me. And then I started seeing images that I didn't want to see. They were all Bella. One was Bella, her spirit broken and her body bleeding in the forest outside of her house just after I had left her there. And then Bella was stumbling up the stairs to her room, and lifting the lid on a CD player. I remembered taking my CD out of it. And then Bella was looking at a scrapbook. She saw that I had taken her pictures of me, and then she fell. Her knees gave way, and she sank to the floor. She cried silently, the tears running down her face, pressing her cheek against the wooden floor, and her body sometimes convulsing in actual, physical pain. And Alice showed me another one of her old visions; Bella was starving herself, refusing to get out of bed for a week.

I clutched the sides of my head in pain, this was much worse than those first few months when the voices threatened to overwhelm me. This was a thousand times worse. "Stop!" I shrieked, "Alice, you're killing me!" Jasper looked like he was in pain too, of course he was, he could feel mine, and Emmett seemed to want to do something, but brute strength could fix nothing this time.

But Alice didn't stop. She showed me Bella throwing a tantrum when her mother came to remove her from Forks, and then collapsing into tears when her mother left. And another, Bella was breaking all of the CDs that she owned, walking out of the TV room stone-faced when Charlie was watching, and then, tearing the stereo that we'd given her out of her car, leaving her with bloody hands and leaving the stereo broken beyond repair. And then there were snippets of the months and months that she went to school and did not even speak to anyone. And one last one when she was walking across a street in Port Angeles to see a man in a bar…I knew that face. It was one of the men who almost gang raped her.

I sank to my knees in pain, still holding my head, trying in vain to tune Alice out.

_This is what we did to her, Edward. She didn't recover until she met someone else. I could see her with him for a while, and then they disappeared. I was so afraid that she had died; I went looking for her online. I found that she graduated from the University of Alaska, so she was alright. The only reason left that I could not see her is that she was happy, and no longer needed me to see her and help her. You need to leave her alone. Just be her student and you'll be out here in two years. You'll only need to take her class for an hour and a half each day. Just be her student. Don't go talk to her. Promise me. Please. _

I shook my head at her, I still could not promise. "Did you have any visions of _me_?" I asked her hoarsely, still on the ground. I knew that she did. From when I was in 'hibernation', before I came back to the family. I had suffered just as much as Bella had. I needed to see her. I shakily stood up, my head was pounding. It was the first time I'd collect had a headache in over a century. Alice nodded her head, "Then you know that I need to see her."

And Alice's mind flashed into a vision, it was me, sitting in her classroom, and Bella sitting at her desk. Her voice was harsh and it said to me. "You may leave now Mr. Stewart."

Her mind flashed back to the present and she raised an eyebrow as if to say, 'You still want to go?'

I didn't answer, but left immediately. I head Alice say to our siblings, "Well, at least I tried."

I had been waiting in her classroom for fifteen minutes. She had been with me for ten. Neither of us said a word. Finally she said, "Edward, go home. The school day has been over for fifteen minutes. Your siblings are probably waiting for you."

"They've gone home without me." I told her "I've told them that you are my teacher. They understood my need to stay late and talk to you."

"Well, I've been here for ten minutes and you haven't said a word." She was obviously annoyed.

"I was waiting for you." I didn't want to admit that I was afraid to talk to her.

"Well, talk now then. I have a staff meeting in five minutes." Of course, she wouldn't put her life on hold for me again like she had so many years before.

"I'm sorry." That was all that I really wanted to say, after seeing Alice's visions, though, that put those words into a whole new light.

"I know."

"I've missed you." I wanted to say that too.

"Bullshit." She was harsh, but I'd never expected my fragile little Bella to be so fiery, and I'd most definitely never heard her curse before.

"I've never heard you curse before."

"No, you haven't. There are a lot of things that you don't know about me." She was very angry.

"I'm sure." I didn't want to use too much air.

And then she exploded. I shouldn't have said that, "Of course you're sure, goddamn immortal freak! -it-all Cullen. Well get this: I'm thirty–five, I wear reading glasses, I teach at Montclair High School, I dated a fucking _werewolf_ for a year and I have a four year old _daughter_!"

A werewolf! How much trouble could she get into! But that wasn't what worried me. She had a daughter. With whom? The werewolf? I resisted the urge to growl. "I'm sorry." she said, "I should not have exploded like that. You may leave now Mr. Stewart."

I left, walking slower than a usually human pace, let along vampire pace. I heard her call my name "Edward! Tell Alice that I named my daughter after her." After Alice. After my sister Alice. She named her daughter Alice. Alice Swan? Alice Black? Alice Cullen. It should have been Alice Cullen.

I decided to see where Bella went after school. I knew it was wrong, but I'd done it once before, and I didn't feel too bad doing it again.

Bella went to a house with two cars already in the driveway and parked her car before going inside. I wondered if it was Bella's house, but it wasn't, because an older woman opened the door to let her in. It was a friend's house. I waited outside, in the bushes, for her to come out. I wondered if she was eating dinner at her friend's house. But she came out ten minutes later with a small girl in her arms. The girl was short and thin, wearing a pair of embroidered jeans and a thing long sleeved shirt. It was exactly the thing that I thought Bella would dress her daughter in. I could see that Alice's skin was noticeably darker than Bella's. Maybe Alice was that Native werewolf's daughter. My fists clenched. I didn't see Alice's face, because her shoulder length stick-straight hair was covering it as she hid her face in Bella's shoulder. She was obviously tired. I tried to reach into Alice's mind, and I could. She was thinking normal four year old thoughts about home and bed and sleeping, I found it strange that there were no thoughts of her father at home.

I followed Bella on foot to her house, it was an apartment building, and I scaled the back wall and found the window with her scent on it. It was a two-floored flat, the bedrooms, closet and bathroom on the top floor and a family room and kitchen on the bottom floor. Bella gently put Alice to bed after giving her a bath. She was so gentle and loving. I wanted that to be our child. But I knew that was impossible, and I was happy that she could be able to love a child even if it was not mine.

Bella eyed her school bag for a little while, but turned away and got some chocolate cake out of the freezer and sat down in front of the TV, she was watching Robin Hood, something I loved in my youth. An hour later, Bella got ready for bed. But before she fell asleep, she went to check on Alice. What a loving, caring, person. I watched Bella's face as she turned out Alice's lights and it was melting with such joy and love. It was the same face that she used to make toward me. Now her love was all for Alice. I almost fell off of the building.

I stayed at Bella's house all night. No man ever came to her home. Was she a single mother? Was Jacob on a business trip? After she fell asleep, I snuck in through the window. Her alarm rang at five-thirty and she went to take a shower. I moved silently to the kitchen. It was raining that day, perfect weather for us vampires. Would she not go to school? Was she that upset?

I was contemplating Bella when I heard her voice. It startled me out of my reverie. She was saying, "Ali! Alice, dearest, it's time to get up!" She sighed, "How many more minutes do you want Ali?" she asked.

I heard a small feminine voice, "Ten!"

"How about five?" Bella was compromising.

"Alright," Alice agreed, "That's more than two!" Apparently two was the usual compromise.

I heard Bella coming down the stairs; I sat up straighter and brushed my fingers through my hair. She set her things on the kitchen table before she noticed me, and screamed.

I don't know why I stayed. I'm just a love struck idiot.

She was looking at me with fear, and then Alice started screaming, "Mommy Mommy! Where are you?" Bella's expression turned from surprise and horror to loathing, and hatred. I had disturbed her daughter, and now I was going to pay hell for it.

Bella ran up the stairs shouting, "I'm coming sweetheart!" and then, more urgency in her tone, "Where are you Alice?"

"I'm here Mommy!"

"I'm sorry Ali, there was a spider downstairs and it scared me."

"Oh"

"Well, hey, you're awake now. Why don't we get ready for the day?"

Alice huffed, but I heard them go to the bathroom. Bella was a great mother and teacher.

Bella dressed her daughter and then said, "Put these on, alright, and then come down for breakfast!"

Bella came down the stairs faster than I knew she could go without tripping. "What the _hell_ are you doing in my apartment?" She actually hissed at me. "You really scared Alice; I don't know _what_ you think you were doing by coming here, but get out, now. You are my student, remember?"

I had to think of something to say. I don't know why I didn't. I suppose that I hadn't been expecting her to be angry. I used to come into her house all the time uninvited, and she was totally fine with it. I guessed that this was sign that she really had moved on. "Yes. I remember, but our conversation ended badly yesterday. I wanted to apologize. I was trying to hide my emotions from you, but I ended up seeming like a jerk."

"Edward. There is something I want to make clear to you." She was terrifying. "I am your English teacher, and you are my English 3 student who just moved here from, where, LA?" She was quite angry, and she was making fun. She knew that I couldn't have been in LA, one of the sunniest places in the USA. It was the lie that we had told when leaving Forks. "And let me tell you something about that conversation ending badly yesterday. It ended. And it ended for good. If I want to talk to you, I will talk to you. If you want to talk to me, come before or after school. I don't want you at my house. Ever. And stay away from Alice. If you even look at her I will _kill_ you. I have Jacob's number on speed dial. He could be here in four days if I asked him to be. And he could rip you limb from limb. Now get _out_, Alice is coming downstairs." So Jacob was the lucky fellow. Well wasn't that just fine. She went from a vampire to a werewolf. Bella really was a danger magnet.

I had to know if I was right. "Can I ask you one question?"

"Yes. One."

"Is she yours?"

"Alice? Alice is my daughter, yes. Now get out. I'll let you out the door, so that you don't have to go through the window as I'm sure you did last night." Alice was coming down the stairs. "Get out. And if you ever talk to me as anything other than your teacher again, I will have you destroyed."

I saw myself out. I watched as she put her daughter in the car and started toward Montclair. I went home.

After sixth period, I went to Bella's English class in room 205. I sat down before she even walked in. Most of us did. She divided us into groups and assigned us to discuss Romeo and Juliet. I didn't talk much, the smell was overpowering if I took a breath. But I watched Bella a bit. It turned out that she actually did wear reading glasses. How interesting. She was only, what, thirty five?

When the eighth period bell rang, she suggested that we do something fun. Someone called Henry by everybody else's thoughts suggested pictionary. We played a game, there were three teams, each team had one person draw and the rest of us had to guess what the word was from Romeo and Juliet. It was actually sort of fun. And I was unable to find the word in the teacher's mind, so I was making my own guesses without saying them aloud. I still wouldn't waste my air, but I was also participating in my head. However, it was not totally new or interesting, I knew Romeo and Juliet by heart. I spent most of the game looking at the facilitator, Bella.

I hung back after class. Alice had asked me to do something for her.

Another kid stayed back. He was asking questions about the assignment for class, questions that had already been answered.

She said, "I'll be right with you, Edward."

When she was ready I told her, "Alice wants to talk to you."

"My daughter is at school." She answered haughtily.

"You know who I mean. She's devastated. She wishes that she were in your class. But she's pretending to be a sophomore this year."

"She'll be in my class next year, then. I'm sure that she'll live. She has who?"

"Mr. Athian."

"Oh, he'll be a good teacher for her."

"I know. But you'll be even better."

"Thank you. What did you want to talk to me about? Oh, of course, I have to give you various assignments and such." She wrongly assumed my purpose for staying later; maybe she did that on purpose. I was sure that she didn't want to associate with us ever again. She handed me various papers. "This is for your parent and you to sign. I want it back on Monday." Did she really think that I would have my parents sign it? I decided to sign it and give it to her then.

"Bella." She was rattling on and on about things I didn't want to hear.

"I am called Ms. Swan at this school, Edward." She told me. I guessed she was serious about now wanting to associate with me other than teacher/student.

"Ms. Swan, then, are you just going to ignore my sister's plea to you? We're all suffering, but her most of all." That was a lie. I was suffering most.

She seemed to reconsider, "I'll talk to her. When is her lunch period?"

"Sixth."

She laughed; I hadn't heard that in years. It was such a relief. I was glad that I had caused her to laugh. "That's underclassmen lunch."

"She knows, she's upset." That wasn't a lie.

She laughed again, "I'm sure that she is! Tell her to meet me at Starbucks tomorrow during 6th lunch. I'll drive her back to school."

"Thank you. From all of us." Yes, all of us except for Rosalie.

"You're welcome Mr. Stewart. Oh, hey, hold on a minute." She wrote on a picture of her daughter, "Give this to Alice. I'll see you tomorrow." She took off her glasses and put them in her purse. I signed the syllabus and placed it on her desk before rushing out of the classroom. If I had remained any longer, I would have been unable to control my thirst. I needed to hunt. I called Carlisle and told him that I would be back by morning.

When I got home around four in the morning after running and taking a few deer from Eagle Rock Reservation Carlisle was waiting for me. Emmett and Rose were busy in their room; Alice and Jasper were playing chess and Esme was drawing.

"Edward."

"Yes?"

"I am required to discipline you."

I was confused. "By whom are you required to discipline me?"

"Ms. Swan and the Montclair High School. Did you know that forging another person's signature is a federal crime? Well, I did and so does Ms. Swan. She wasn't happy with that trick you pulled. She knows that you were unlikely to bring me a syllabus and she knows that even if you did I wouldn't care if you forged my signature, and she probably knows that we forage signatures on an almost daily basis. But she had to go through the motions of what the school required and it made her very upset to have to call this house. It made Emmett upset too." That explained why he was so busy with Rosalie. He was upset.

"Oh."

"Yes, oh. I want you to write an apology to Be – Ms. Swan…" he trailed off. "Never mind, that would probably upset her more." He thought something to me; _she almost called me Dr. Cullen on the phone today. This is very hard for her._

"And you think it isn't for me?"

_No, but you are only making this harder for her. Just act like you do usually. Don't be a thorn in her side._

"Thanks. But it seems like everyone's telling me what to do, and I don't need you to be one of them." I said under my breath. Carlisle looked stung.

_Fine, you go ahead and do what you wish and I promise you that nobody will envy you the consequences._

I shrugged off his warning and started crashing on my piano. I started playing angry pieces, but the song soon turned into Bella's lullaby. I couldn't avoid it. My life, or existence, was awful. The only thing that I was thankful for was that Alice Swan was too dark skinned to be Mike Newton's daughter.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again! I hope your holidays were all enjoyable at the very least! Thanks for all of the reviews!

**Tear of Mist**

**twilighter97**

**Team Edwacob lover of both**

**divine divinity**

**Secretly-A-Vampiire**

**GrlWithoutAName**

**jacobblackforever**

**Angels and Airwaves**

**buttonbit**

**XxClairesyxX**

**Feenrai**

**allikittenkat1**

**mercedesfrk1121**

**s m Neal**

**chocolatease**

**angelinvesigationsfan**

**Olympic1340**

**twilightgrl61692**

**xx Twilight Addicttt**

**Loulabelle**

**x0xDrumMajorx0x**

**Nicole**

**EllyCullen**

and

**ringerchick16**

And if you're considering reviewing now, please do! Tell me what you think, should I do another chapter in Edward's point of view? Should Jacob make an appearance? Should they get back together? Should Bella be a vampire? I may be putting up a poll on my profile having to do with this story. So watch out! And if you haven't already, please check out my other story, Hurting (However, it is rated M for a reason, so don't go there if that offends you)! Also: FanFic has been deleting the ends of my sentences, and sometimes the beginnings and middles as well, so if something doesn't make sense to you, just tell me and I'll clarify! And finally, only one more quick thing to say: I have been alerted that in my first two chapters of this story, I spelled the name of the author of Pride and Prejudice wrong. It's Jane Austen, not Jane Austin! Thanks for bearing with me guys! Enjoy the chapter:

**Chapter Four**

When I called the Culle– Stewart household from home I was so upset that I put Alice to bed after a bath and didn't grade any more papers. I turned on the TV again and took another whopping piece of cake. I sat down, but knew that something wasn't right. And then I remembered.

The windows weren't locked.

I went to check on Alice, expecting him to be there, and he was.

"_Bastard_." I hissed. "I warned you."

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Jacob's number. It was only seven over there. "Hey Leah," I said when Jacob's girlfriend picked up the phone, "Can I talk to Jake?"

"Sure," she said. She knew that I had long since relinquished my claim to him as anything but a brother.

He was quickly on the phone, Edward hadn't left. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Hey Bells, what's going on? How's Ali?"

"She's great, asleep at the moment, actually, so I was going to get some much needed rest." He laughed, "Um, hey, I have a really big favor to ask of you."

"Sure. What is it?"

"The Cullens are here."

"_What!_" he spat. Leah was a werewolf too, I heard Jake quickly relay the news to her. I heard her howl soon after, she was calling a meeting. "We'll all be over there as soon as possible. Montclair, right?"

"Yes. I can tell you their address when you get here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I have their student records."

"How?"

"Well, you know how I teach English?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember how I told you that the Cullens keep repeating High School?"

"No _way_!" he breathed.

"Yeah. He's in my English 3 class."

I could feel the anger emanating from Jacob although he was three thousand miles away. "Do you want me to bring the entire pack over? We'll take them down for you, if you want."

"No, no, just make sure that they stay away from me." Edward was still standing there. I sat down on Alice's bed and started to stroke her hair. I was purposefully but surreptitiously putting myself in between my daughter and the vampire.

"No problem. Do you mind if I kill the bronze haired one?"

"Nope."

"Really?!"

"Yeah."

"Uh oh, what did he do?"

"I'll talk to you when you get here. Are you sure that you have the money, because I could help you out if you need it."

"Yeah, we've got the money. And believe me; if we're going to take down some vampires, we've _definitely_ got the money."

I laughed aloud, "Thanks Jake, you're the best."

"No way, you're the best!" That's how we always ended our conversations. "Bye Jake."

"Bye Bells, I'll call you tomorrow!" He hung up, I hung up.

I gave Edward the evil eye. "And now we wait." I said.

"Alice wouldn't like it very much if you killed me."

"No." I agreed.

"So…"

"So what?"

"Never mind."

"Yes. Never mind. Now get out of my apartment."

"Alright, Bella."

"That's to you."

"Goodbye ."

"Goodbye."

I picked up my daughter, who was stirring in her sleep. "Edward," I said. He grabbed onto the window sill that he was crouched on. "I'm sorry that I'm being so unkind. It's just better this way." That was similar to something he had once told me. And he had been right.

"I understand. Carlisle told me the same thing."

"And Edward."

"Yes?"

Because of his reaction when I told him that Alice was my daughter and the way that he had reacted that first afternoon when he was first informed that I had a child, and because he was in her room, not mine, I thought I knew what he was trying to find out. "I know that you've been worrying, but I adopted her."

Edward's nostrils flared. "Thank you Bella. You don't know how much that means to me."

And I had him right where I wanted him. "But why does it mean so much to you? Edward, listen to me," He was escaping. "If there's anything you learn in being a mother, it's how to read people. I can read you still, even after all these years." I grimaced. Alice seemed to sense my discomfort even in her sleep, she was restless. Still unconscious she sighed and reached up with her hand to stroke my cheek. I bounced her a bit. "I can tell that you're hiding something from me. I don't care whether or not you tell me, but I want you to know that I know." Alice cried out in her sleep. And then she was whimpering.

"Oh, Alice baby, wake up!"

Edward was still on the window sill.

"Sweetheart, wake up, you're having a bad dream." I stroked her forehead, which was a bit too hot for comfort. "Crap." I muttered. I couldn't have a sick daughter on my hands! I would have to call Frankie and warn her that Colin may get sick too. Had I gotten her flu shot this year? Yes, yes I had. I was strangely paranoid about the flu, and the reason was still on my window sill.

"Alice," she woke up. "Are you okay honey?"

"Yeah," she said sleepily. "I had a dream that you were away and I couldn't find you. And there was a huge spider coming after me." I knew the cause for that dream. He was also sitting on my windowsill. I glared at him. Alice noticed and turned her head, rubbing her eyes. "Who's that, Mommy?"

"That's Edward Stewart, he's in my class."

"Like Colin is in my class?"

"Sort of. Say 'hi'!"

"Hi Edward Stewart."

Edward jumped down from the windowsill. "Hello Alice Swan." He kissed her hand, she giggled. "Did you know that my little sister is named Alice?"

"No."

"Hey Edward," I interrupted him. "Do you think she has a fever?"

"You all feel warm to me."

"Yes, but you are the only one here who went to medical school."

"Do you have a thermometer?" Oh yes, I did.

"Good point, do you want to hold onto her for a second?" He looked terrified. "I'll take that as a yes." I put her into his arms; she latched onto him unfazed by his cold skin. What was wrong with her? I didn't want her to fall in love with a vampire too. Oh darn. Oh well, she was only four. They could be friends until he moved on again. Maybe she and Alice Cullen could keep in touch.

I ran to the bathroom to get the thermometer. I took her temperature as Edward held her. She was 100° F. It was only a low temperature. I grabbed some children's Tylenol and gave her a spoonful. She was already falling back asleep when I took her from Edward. "Goodnight sweetheart." I said. She latched on to me. "Alright, I'll stay with you." I went down next to her and held her in my arms while humming to her. I didn't even remember Edward was there until he tapped me on the shoulder.

"I'll see you tomorrow Ms. Swan."

"Yes, thank you so much for your help Edward. But listen, the pack is coming, I've already called them. And so you had better stay away from my daughter and me."

"Understood." He hopped out of the window with a strange look on his face. I thought back to try and understand why. I came up with nothing. It wasn't until I lay back down next to Alice that I realized. I had been humming my lullaby.

The next day I wasn't at school. I was taking care of my daughter who had an autumnal cold. It wasn't a big deal. She was fine by that Saturday, we had each only missed one day of school, and we had both had some great mother-daughter time. I made sure that all of the windows were locked from then on. I didn't want Edward or any other Cullen/Stewart coming into my apartment uninvited.

I went back to school the next Monday, Alice's fever having died down. But it was a day off from her school. She went to a private pre-k, so they had a different schedule from the Montclair Public Schools. I acquired special permission to bring in my daughter to school. She was amazingly polite throughout the day, it was only after lunch that I had to worry about. And I only had one class after lunch.

We got to class a few minutes before the bell rang, I had underestimated how much time it would take to separate Alice from her seat at Starbucks. When we stepped into class, the first thing that Alice noticed was Edward. "Hello Edward Stewart." She said.

Edward smiled at her and rose in one fluid motion to kneel at her feet and kiss her hand again like he had done that first day, "Hello Alice Swan."

She giggled. I smiled; Alice's laugh was such a gorgeous sound. But I didn't want her too near Edward. I called her over and set up a computer game with headphones for Alice to occupy herself with. The bell rang and a student walked in afterward. I was forced to give him a ten minute detention after school. I would have to stay later. Oh well.

We talked more about Shakespeare and the students turned in their homework to me. Edward's was five pages, the longest by far. Maybe he had double spaced.

And I tucked the papers away and led an intense discussion of the first part of Romeo and Juliet's plot. I focused heavily on Paris and Roslyn. I didn't want my students to forget that each character had other choices, but chose to take the hard way out. I stressed that they fought to overcome their differences in family in order to be together. And when they were forbidden to see each other, they still made the effort. Romeo became quite adept at scaling Juliet's balcony. I tried very hard not to look at Edward when I was talking about scaling walls and climbing into people's rooms. But when I did cast an eye over to him, he was watching Alice intently.

He was not allowed to do that. I had to pull his attention back to class. "Edward?" I called? "Are you paying attention?"

"Yes."

"So what do you think?"

"I think that Shakespeare was trying to show that love transcends all boundaries." He said this intensely, looking into my eyes. He was trying to communicate something that I already suspected. I chose to ignore his implications. I would not allow myself to hope for anything. And even if he did still love me, I could not leave Alice for anything.

The last bell rang as 2:33 as always and I saw Michael trying to sneak out, trying to avoid his detention. I caught him, "Mike," I called. He turned, "You can skip, I wouldn't care, but then you'd get an in school suspension."

He dragged his feet back into the classroom. Edward was still packing up; it was obviously on purpose, he could have been packed up and out of the classroom the second that the bell rang. He went to talk to my Alice. Unacceptable. "Edward." I called him out. "Go. And please tell your sister that I'll see her tomorrow at lunch." I glared at him when Michael's back was turned. "Don't forget about Jacob." He knew what I meant even if Mike didn't. He quickly left the room.

I stayed throughout the extra time with Mike, and when I left the room I took Alice with me. The two of us went together to Starbucks where I talked a bit to Ruthie and thanked her again for the wonderful coffee and the support that she had shown me a few days ago. She asked if 'my ex' had left. I told her that he was probably in for the long haul, but I was totally alright now. She didn't seem to buy it, but that was alright.

Alice was quite energetic after being at school all day, so I decided to take her to Eagle Rock Reservation to run around a little bit before it got dark. It was only a five minute trip and it was on the way home from school. I drove up the winding pathway and we entered the reservation on one of the lesser known paths. I wanted to try some new scenery and keep my mind off of a certain someone. I was walking being Alice, who was running ahead of me a little bit. And then I heard a feral growl. I started running.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello again! Thanks for all of your great ideas, I hope that this chapter is satisfying! Thanks to all of you who reviewed:

**snooky**

**BellaChristopher**

**Layla Lawliet**

**XyClairesyxX**

**Ratava100d**

**klaytie1577**

**twilightgrl61692**

**Tear of Mist**

**Kaitlin13**

**divine divinity**

**...baby.**

**Aris-5221**

**TwiHard24**

**RieDonovan**

**Kolored**

**mercedesfrk1121**

**x0xDrumMajorx0x**

**Angels And Airwaves**

**twilighter97**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter Five**

My first thought was 'Alice!', and I was off. I ran to her and she ran to me, she had heard it too. I started running back to the car. If it was a bear, we would be safe driving away. But the sounds that I heard in the brush were too light to be a bear. And I had heard that growl before. I knew exactly what was coming for Alice…and me.

I knew that running would not work. I had run before. I stayed stock still. I was hoping that if his prey were to stay still, he would not see much of a challenge. "Edward!" I shouted to him, "It's me, Bella, and Alice! You love Alice! Don't hurt her!"

I heard the creeping in the brush grow ever closer. "Edward," I whimpered. "You can kill me, I know I've been awful to you, but just leave Ali. Please. I wish…" While I did wish that things had ended differently between Edward and me, he probably didn't want to hear it. And I was wasting valuable time that I should be spending with my daughter. It's strange, how on the brink of death, time seems to stretch until you can feel every cell in your body making ready for the change.

I turned to my daughter, who was quivering into my shoulder, "I'm so sorry Alice, and I didn't mean to hurt you. Look at me," she did, "Alice, I love you. Always remember that. Always."

Alice nodded into my shoulder, still terrified. And the vampire in the bushes was silent. And then there were more growls. Double growls, one soprano and one bass. And soon there was a fourth snarl, more tenor than anything. And the fight began. I didn't care to stay. I ran with Alice to the car. I threw her into the front passenger seat, too frightened for our safety to care if she was buckled properly. And when I had left the reservation and was on the road again, only then did I stop and climb over the seats to buckle her in.

Why oh _why_ had vampires come to New Jersey. I had to leave here as soon as possible. But, of course, Jacob would be here soon. Forks was the only safe place for me left. We had to go instantly. The moment I stepped into my house, I ran to my laptop and reserved two one-way tickets to Seattle, disregarding the price. Unfortunately, they were for two days from then. The second thing I did was to call Jacob and tell him not to come. The third thing I decided to do was give Alice a bath. I had read somewhere that the best thing for a child in times of stress was to retain a familiar and comforting routine.

I gave Alice a bath and changed her into pajamas after brushing her teeth. I told her that we were going to see Grandpa. She was very excited at once. She asked when and I told her. The plane left at ten in the morning two days later. She was so excited. I put her in bed after snuggling with her for a little bit, as always.

And then I went around and locked all of the windows and the front door most especially. I was still very scared. I didn't bother to get ready for bed that night; I knew that I wouldn't sleep. I pulled out an old suitcase and Alice's backpack. I started packing. I packed up Alice's school things, and most of her toys and books. I packed my suitcase with our clothing and personal items. It was past midnight before I was truly done packing. At that point, I went to lie down with Alice in her bed. I knew that I wouldn't get any sleep that night. So I didn't even try.

I knew what had happened in Eagle Rock earlier that day. Edward had been there, hunting. He had probably gone hunting every night since he arrived here. The weather had been too dark for him to legitimize a real hunting trip, but he had to satiate himself before he went into my classroom. And then I had been so stupid to forget that, and taken Alice to a convenient secluded area of a public animal reservation with an overpopulation of deer! I had completely lost my mind.

And Edward had been there, hunting and had found my scent. I had been smart to stop moving, it confused the animal in him enough to give Alice, Jasper, and Emmett time to arrive and take him down. I assumed that Alice had had a vision.

I wondered where they all were now. I worried for my formerly future family. I didn't want to be the cause for their strife again.

When the sun began to rise again, I checked the clock; it was seven in the morning.

I dropped Alice off at school, and then went to Montclair High. I reported that I would be taking a month's leave from teaching for personal reasons starting the next day. I was suddenly very thankful that I'd been teaching for over ten years. I had plenty of sick days put away, enough to be gone for a month. They told me that I would have to send lesson plans. I told them that I would be able to drop them off that morning for someone to teach, and then would e-mail them more next week. I had worked on some things overnight.

The school usually asked for more time, but I told them that it was an emergency. The principal talked with me and told me that I had to be back within a month. I knew that was the case and I reasoned with myself that I would live. And maybe I would invite Leah and Jake to come stay with me when I returned home. Then I would be safe. Or maybe Alice and I would stink enough in order that we would no longer be appealing to Edward.

My classes went by quickly. Time always went faster when you were dreading the end of the day. I was dreading having to see Edward. I led my body to believe that he would be absent, but the rational part of me knew that he would be there. I knew that if my hunch was correct, he wouldn't miss an opportunity to see me. At lunch I met Alice.

She was waiting for me at Starbucks when I pulled up. I saw her for the first time in twenty eight years. I almost started crying with joy when I saw that she hadn't changed one bit. My former best friend. My formerly future sister. I embraced her quickly, and she smiled. "Hey Bella." Her voice was like a medicinal potion. It took away all of my worries and concerns.

"Hey Alice."

"How are you doing?"

"Why don't you tell me, I'm sure you've been watching."

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"Edward told me not to."

"Really?" I was genuinely surprised. After the last few encounters I'd had with him, I suspected that he would want to monitor me as well as possible. She just nodded. She was such a dear, she knew that I didn't want to talk about him right now.

When I thought about it, I really wanted an update on the Cullen family. But I didn't want to hear about the Stewart family. "How are the Cullens these days?" I asked Alice.

"You mean the Stewarts?"

"The Cullens." And again, she understood.

Alice went into detail about her family. "Well, we've rented a rather large house on the outskirts of this lovely town. It's nicely surrounded by a bunch of trees and there's a long driveway that moves off the road, so we don't get any traffic. Emmett and Rosalie are planning their next wedding, it'll be in a few years, when Rose graduates from this god-awful school –" she looked at me sheepishly, but I understood.

I shrugged, "It is awful sometimes." It was especially awful for the two last periods of the day when Edward was in my class…

She laughed, "Yes. But, um, Jazz and I went on an extended trip to Africa a few years ago. I had a great time sampling other foods."

I felt myself remembering the afternoon before. I decided to ask her about the Eagle Rock Reservation incident quickly before I decided not to. But Alice had caught that moment of decision. "It was Edward." She told me, "Yes he was hunting, yes he caught your scent, and yes I Saw him from home and took the boys to your rescue." She grinned, "I'm glad that you had the sense to run while he was distracted. Some wouldn't…you know, I rather enjoyed the chance to beat Edward to a pulp. I had a great time, maybe battered him more than I should have. Oh well, he's fine now."

I felt like I was choking on something, Edward had been just through the bushes and Alice had been there and Emmett and Jasper, all of my future siblings, disregarding Rosalie. I knew that already, my mind had already told me that, but hearing it confirmed was completely different. If I had stayed…of course I would have died, but what a way to go! Alice misinterpreted my expression, "Really, he's fine!"

"No, no." I assured her that I was totally alright. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Edward." I was lost in thought; I didn't even realize what I was saying. "And the others. I wish I had stayed."

She was shaking her head, "I always knew you were crazy."

"No, no, I know that I had to go, for Alice's sake, but if I had stayed then maybe I would have seen you all."

She laughed, "I'd forgotten about Alice, my namesake. Thank you, by the way."

"Of course," I smiled, "Who else would I name her after?"

"I dunno, actually, I'm the best aren't I?"

I laughed, and the rest of lunch passed this way. We picked up our friendship just where we had left it off in Forks. I drove her back to school, I knew that with her extra abilities and immortality, she could be back to school in seconds from Starbucks. But I wanted, selfishly, more time with her. And then she left. I told her that I was summoned to Forks the next day and was unable to meet with her for lunch the next day, but I would contact her when I got back.

And I made my way to my classroom. Of course, Edward was there. Edward was always there. But he looked awful. He had a few scratches on his face, and he looked more jumpy than ever. His hands were torn worse than his face and there was a bite mark on his neck and another on his right hand. I imagined that his torso, arms and legs were just as scratched up. But I quickly stopped imagining Edward's various body parts. It was just making me depressed.

But there was one thing. It made me stop and reconsider what I had done in the last week. The bell rang and he looked at me. He looked at me with the eyes of a man who had seen a thousand years. It made the mother in me cry out to him. And so I called him out of class. I knew he wasn't breathing. I set the class to reading, and went into the hall with him.

"Are you alright?" He didn't say anything, just looked at me. I shrank a bit, "Alright then…"

He must have sensed my discomfort, "Yes, I'm fine."

"Really?"

"No. Do I look alright?

"Well, no, but that's why I came out here to ask you if I could help."

"Can you listen?"

"Yes."

"Yesterday I was hunting in Eagle Rock Reservation," I wanted to interrupt and inform him that Alice had already told me this story. But then I remembered that he just wanted me to listen. "I was hunting and I caught your scent. I was brought up short. I lost all control. I remember the feeling, it was very liberating actually, but afterwards it was quite scary. I caught your scent and I followed it all of the way across the forest. I wanted you so badly. But when you didn't _run_ I was so bewildered. I had changed completely into an animal and the only reason that the predator chases is for the fun of it. If the predator wants to, it can just kill the thing. But when you outsmarted the vampire it knocked me back into Edward. And I heard you talking. I remember very clearly what you said to me." He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He imitated my voice very well. "Edward! It's me, Bella, and Alice! You love Alice! Don't hurt her!" He whispered the next part, and it looked like he was about to burst into tears. But I knew that vampires could not cry. "Edward, you can kill me, I know I've been awful to you, but just leave Ali. Please. I wish…" And he stopped talking.

I swallowed audibly. And then he was sobbing. He was leaning against the wall and crying his heart out, clenching and unclenching his fists. Until that moment I thought I had known everything about Edward. But I realized two things right then. The first thing was that Edward had changed. He was a different being from the one who had left me in the woods that day. Second, vampires _could_ cry. No tears could ever be shed, but oh yes they could cry.

And so it was just Edward and me standing outside of my classroom at Montclair High School. And as he was crying, I was unable to comfort him. The world seemed to stand still as I watched him.

But I put aside _everything_ in that moment and bundled it away. I filed it for further reference, but I did not even think about it as I leaned closer to him, my face so close to his, and wrapped my arms around his waist. His skin was as cold as ever. But I didn't even notice.

As soon as my arms touched his waist, Edward was brought up short. He was still so much taller than I. He quickly composed himself and turned. I let go of him, so that I would stay where I was and we would be facing each other. "Bella." He said, with so much emotion that I had to kiss him right then and there. I covered my mouth with my right hand, restraining myself and trying to hold back my own tears. I rushed back into the classroom.

****************

Love it? Hate it? Review! Tell me if you want another chapter from Edward's point of view! Thanks!


	6. Chapter 6

Hello again! Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

**SpecialK**

**Dancemydreams**

**KAYLA13**

**Secretly-A-Vampiire**

**GiselleIsLMFAO247**

**Tear of Mist**

**OME**

**tigger5600**

**bleedingangel89**

**xxPSxxIxxLOVxxUxx**

**yesisalas**

**sleeping bella3**

**BellaChristopher**

**Chrissy**

**Angels and Airwaves**

**...baby.**

**Ratava100d**

**klaytie1577**

**angelinvestigationsfan**

**EllyCullen**

**Nicole**

**eyeglassed cat**

**medievalove**

**absexton**

**Kaitlin13**

**Powellicus**

**divine divinity**

**twilightgrl61692**

**iamkagomeiloveinuyasha**

**snooky**

**Team Edwacob lover of both**

**Kleintje88**

**mercedesfrk1121**

**twilighter97**

**RieDonovan**

and

**x0xDrumMajorx0x**

I hope you enjoy this next chapter, and for those of you who want to know, this is a link to a picture that I found on the web that I think represents what I think Alice Swan looks like: .com/file_thumbview_approve/2817557/2/istockphoto_

Enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter Six**

I swirled the last of my martini and watched it settle before knocking it back. I placed the glass on the bar and said, in my best imitation of a woman under the legal blood alcohol limit, "Hit me again, Tony."

He raised an eyebrow, "You sure about this Bella? This'll be your fifth."

"I've got the cash. I'll make this my last, I promise." After school that day I had skipped a staff meeting, claiming that I was ill, and arranged for Alice to go home with Frankie for a sleepover with Colin in order that I could drink myself into oblivion. Alice had plenty of clothing stored at Colin's house 'just for emergencies' already. This was definitely an emergency. I came here, to Tony's bar because his father had been a friend of mine before he handed the business over to Tony. He would understand. And he did. And I drank myself into exactly the state I wanted to be in.

I didn't remember anything of the last twenty four hours, I didn't remember Eagle Rock Reservation, I didn't remember Edward's tortured face, I didn't remember almost kissing him in the hallway…I didn't even remember my own name. And that was the way I liked it.

After I downed my third martini I still remembered, and Tony was forced to listen to me cry my heart out about my immortal soul mate that had left me twenty-seven years ago and come back exactly the same as he had been and was currently in my English class. Good thing I'd had three martinis, he was sure that I'd already been drunk and was making things up. And then I had a fourth and was starting to forget. After my fifth I was laughing so hard that I thought my spleen would break. And what was I laughing about? Tony's bar had three uneven scratches on the wood and I found them hilarious. He got up to call a taxi for me. But I made it clear that I would do it myself. I got up from my stool and tipped for a moment before righting myself with one hand on the bar counter. I flipped open my cell phone and dialed the number for the local taxi company. But I did it wrong and had to try again. On my fourth try, Tony took the phone from me and was about to dial the number himself when there was a knock on the door.

He handed me my phone and made me promise not to move. I heard a sweet little voice outside of the bar, and Tony was talking to her, "Sorry honey, as much as I'd like to have you alone with me, we're closed."

She said something. Tony responded my opening the door wider and saying, "Oh, she's still at the bar. She's a family friend, that's why I let her stay."

I was laughing at the uneven divots in the counter again when Alice's head slid into my field of view. "Hello Alice." I said. I wondered how she got here, and then I remembered: Alice could see the future! "I'll bet you had a vision."

She looked at me like I was crazy, "Yes, Bella." She told me, "of course, now come with me."

"Okay." She supported me with a shoulder and handed Tony four twenties.

"Thank you for taking care of her, Tony. You're a very lovely gentleman."

"Why thank you."

The next thing I remember, I was being helped out of a yellow sports car by Alice and then picked up by Emmett. "Hello Em." I said.

"Em? You've never called me that before."

"Okay." I was totally fine with everything they wanted me to say. I didn't care.

But then, suddenly, I did care. Emmett carried me into the house and I was laughing hysterically that someone could pick up my and my fat self. When we got inside, Emmett placed my carefully on a pale couch and covered me with an afghan, provided by Alice. I was still laughing, and a couple of Cullens came down the stairs to see who had invaded their home with drunken laughter. Rosalie turned on her heel and went right back up when she saw me. Esme looked more than a trifle shocked, Carlisle was examining me closely and looking at Alice quizzically – somehow at the same time – and Jasper was chuckling, obviously reacting to my own euphoria.

There was one person missing. "Where's Edward?" Alice looked unnerved and motioned to Jasper to go upstairs. I laughed at myself, "Stewart." I said in an undertone, but of course they could all hear me. Carlisle winced. How funny. I laughed at him.

"Edward is upstairs." Carlisle said.

"Okay." I seemed to be saying that a lot… I heard a crash from upstairs, and then raised voices.

"Let me _see_ her!"

"Edward, she's sloshed. She can barely see straight!" I was insulted. I could see straight! I told Alice so. Alice seemed to get smaller if that was even possible.

She hissed up the stairs. "Shut _up_! She can _hear_ you."

"I don't mind." I said at the same time that Edward said, "I don't care!"

"Damn, you two were made for each other." said Emmett.

"What?" I said, "Shut your face or I'll give you detention!" I started laughing again. I wouldn't ever give Emmett a detention. He was such a teddy bear. Alice cracked a smile. Emmett did not. "Oh come on big guy, I was just kidding." I threw my hands in the air. "Woo!" I shouted. I did it again, because it was so funny. I cracked up.

Emmett looked like he was going to be sick. "I sure as hell hope I did not do that when I was drunk."

I heard another crash from upstairs; it was Edward's door falling open. He was immediately by my side, "Hello Bella. Are you alright?"

"I'm _great_!" I said to him. "And that's _Ms. Swan_ to you!" I started laughing again.

"What did you do to yourself?"

"I went to a bar, Edward. A lot of people do it."

"You're so drunk, though…I never thought that you'd be like this…"

Alice had a smug look on her face. "I am. This is me, Edward." The alcohol was making me lose my mind. "Now that I'm here are you going to have your way with me?"

Edward looked like he was going to retch. Alice broke into lovely little peals of laughter. "I think you should go to bed, Bella. You're not yourself."

"Yes I am! I'll always be Bella!" I tried to stamp my foot, but then realized that I was still horizontal. I sighed and fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was morning. It was three in the morning and I had a massive headache.

And I didn't remember anything from the night before, I only remembered a dream. It was a dream I'd had often before I got Alice and after the Cullens enrolled at my school. It was of the night that Edward had left me. I hoped I hadn't been talking in my sleep because it seemed that I was lying on one of the couches that belonged to them.

I tried to think back, and it all came back to me. "Oh _fuck_." I groaned. I heard someone laugh, "Hi Emmett."

"Hello yourself! Nice language you're using there, _Ms. Swan_." He exaggerated my title, trying to make me laugh at myself for cursing in front of a student. I didn't laugh. Just cursing had made my head flare with pain. I didn't want to make it worse.

"Alice looked it up online and apparently after drinking five martinis, humans are likely to have a hangover. Of course, she could have just asked _me_. I had so much whiskey when I was a human…" he trailed off. "Anyway, my momma had the best cure. She always reprimanded me, but it always helped me feel better. It involved several odd ingredients that were seldom found out of Appalachia, though…How about a few Advil instead?"

"Yes, thank you, that would be great."

Emmett was back in a few seconds, the perks of being a vampire: you can get a glass of water and three Advil in less than three seconds. I took the pills and stood up. My eyes had a hard time focusing. "Where's Edward?" I asked Emmett. I was finding it weird to wake up with Emmett watching me. I was surprised that it wasn't Edward. My memories threatened to overtake me, and as usual I forced them down and locked them away. I focused on memories of Alice and Jacob. The hole that had flared in my chest for a moment soon was sealed again.

Emmett registered the expression on my face and wisely said nothing. When my episode was over, I repeated the question and he told me this. "Last night, when you were asleep, you were talking quite a lot. It seemed like you were replaying a conversation from a while ago. I think Edward recognized your words and was bothered for some reason. He left hours ago and hasn't had the guts to come back."

I breathed out. What had I said? I knew that I had dreamed about the day he left me, and more vividly than usual too, but I wondered what part of the conversation I had replayed for him. I wonder if Emmett knew what the conversation was. I wondered if anyone had deduced that I had frequent nightmares about this…I wondered if anyone had deduced why. I knew. It was because I still loved him. But I knew that he didn't love me, so I had drawn up walls around my past. If I tried to remember anything from that time period of my life it was of Angela or Jessica or Jacob. It wasn't Edward.

I had long since accepted the fact that his existence in my life was over. And I had forgiven him and his family for leaving like that. It wasn't their fault that I was a weak human. I only hoped that they were having fun with his distractions, wherever they were. And that was why I had been so defensive up to this point. It was because I had already forgiven and was finally beginning to forget when he had to come back and make me remember. It felt like he and his family had come to haunt me! I hated him for it. But I also loved him. And I didn't know what to do. It was like Hell. I needed to talk to someone. That would be Jacob. I was glad that I had already reserved tickets for Alice and me to leave Montclair for a month.

Tickets! The flight to Seattle left in exactly seven hours. I had to get Alice from Frankie's in four, and stop off at home before then in order to get the luggage. It would take about an hour and twenty minutes to go home and then to Frankie's and then to Newark airport. I would have to get out of the Cullen household in three and a half hours. Had I handed in lesson plans? No, I hadn't, but I couldn't do that until 7:00am at the latest, in four hours. I'd drop the plans off on the way to the airport. I knew that I had to leave the house of the Cullen's by six. But then I realized that I didn't have a car!

Goodness. I could not believe that Alice (Cullen/Stewart) had come to get me and bring me to her house last night. She must have known that I was going to get a taxi to my own apartment. What had prompted her to do that? And how come she hadn't told anyone but Emmett and Jasper? I needed to talk to this girl.

"Emmett?" I said again, "Where's Alice?"

"Hunting with Jasper."

"Oh no!" I couldn't believe that she had brought me here even though it would cause her husband physical pain to be in the house with me. That even furthered my question, what had prompted her to collect me even though I was just a bother?

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, have I bothered Jasper?"

"No, he's gotten better at being around humans. He's tried extra hard since he had you as motivation." I remembered that he had almost bitten me all those years ago. I had long since forgiven him. "I think they left because Alice didn't want to be here until you were fully awake."

The Advil hadn't kicked in yet, I was glad that Emmett was keeping his voice down. Obviously he had been the one to keep watch over me because he had had hangovers before. "Thanks for taking care of me Emmett, but I'm no longer a teenager. I'm fine. Let me wander please?"

"I don't think so."

"Excuse me?" I sat up.

"I said, I don't think so."

"I know what you said, but I don't understand why I can't move around the house."

"I don't think Edward would like it."

"So? What does that have to do with me? He has no claim over me anymore." I hoped that Emmett didn't hear how my throat choked up when I said that last sentence. But of course he did.

"Are you alright."

"I'm fine." I said, a bit more harshly than necessary.

"No you're not. You miss Edward and Alice and me. I know you do. I may act like the big tough guy, you know, but I have feelings too. I understand."

"You have _no_ idea. Believe me." He didn't know what it felt like to have to go through what I went through. My soul mate couldn't even stand to be in the same room with me! He had Rosalie _living_ in the same room with him! "Do you know what it was like? Do you understand at all what I went through?" He cocked his head, not sure of what to say.

"When you left, I didn't eat or sleep for weeks, I went to a psychiatrist but that didn't help. I couldn't talk to her about you, if I had, I would have been institutionalized. I didn't talk to anyone unless asked a direct question. I couldn't watch TV or listen to music without the pain threatening to overwhelm me. I couldn't think about you, because when I did, I couldn't breathe, and I certainly couldn't try to find you. I was told that you went to LA, I knew that you couldn't go there, but where would I begin to look?"

I took a breath, "I was completely catatonic for close to five months. I was forbidden to remember, but absolutely _terrified_ to forget. When my mother came to change my scenery I almost died. I _couldn't_ leave Forks, then how would I know if you were even real? And then I discovered that I could hear his voice when I did something reckless or stupid. Do you realize how scary it is when you realize that you are having hallucinations? I was having a constant breathing problem, Emmett. And it was only after I almost drowned that I realized that I had to start getting over him.

"And so I locked him and the rest of you away in a vault that had been sealed shut with my daughter. Alice. And then when you all came back that vault came undone and I could feel everything. All of the hurt and fear and…I came close to ending my own life back then, did you know that? You have no idea. None at all." A few tears leaked out of my eyes before I realized how stupid I was being. For all I knew, Emmett really did understand my problems. I looked up at Emmett and was going to apologize for my outburst when I realized that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking sheepishly at the door, or rather the person who had just stepped into the door. It was Edward.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello all! Here's your promised Sunday update! I hope this chapter is satisfactory in terms of Edward's reaction to her "blow up speech"…if not, there is another EPOV in the making! Thanks to all of you who reviewed!

**RemedyX**

**Team Edwacob lover of both**

**mercedesfrk1121**

**divine divinity**

**pmvb11**

**colliechild**

**augustine4**

**Lady April of Ohio**

**april nichole**

**twilightgrl61692**

**liz345**

**TwilightFanGirlForever96**

**hailey famous**

**Monstergrrlshow**

**jeniffer masen**

**EllyCullen**

**angelinvestigationsfan**

**,..baby**

**tigger5600**

**XxClairesyxX**

**Angels And Airwaves**

**medievalove**

**Dancemydreams**

**Ratava100d**

**Team Sparkle**

**Koinaka**

**Kaitlin13**

**Kolored**

**Secretly-A-Vampiire**

**chocolatease**

and

**kayla13**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer…if I was I wouldn't be writing fan fiction! I'd be writing original fiction!**

**Chapter Seven**

Edward had heard my whole blow up speech. I wondered why his face looked like that. I thought it might be guilt…But I knew that it wasn't. He spoke to me. "Did you sleep well?"

"No."

"Right," he went to go upstairs.

"Wait! Edward!"

"Yes?"

"I never meant for you to hear that, any of it. I'm very angry at you, but you didn't deserve any of that. Sorry."

"That's alright. I'd always rather that you told me what you were thinking."

Emmett piped up, "She wasn't saying that for your benefit, brother. It was for mine."

"No," I told them, "It was for me. I just needed to let it out. I haven't talked about that to anyone. Ever. That's why I was planning to go to Forks today. I wanted to talk to Jacob. I'm leaving on the ten o' clock flight." I told them.

Edward nodded and began to mount the stairs; he was disappearing fast, so I let him go. The mother in me knew that he had a lot to digest, even though the ex-girlfriend in me wanted him to suffer. "What did I _say_ last night?" I asked Emmett.

"Erm, do you want to take a walk?"

Some people may be unnerved by the idea of taking a walk alone with a vampire, I wasn't one of them. "Yes." I said, I needed to get out of the house.

When we were sufficiently far enough from the house, we were sitting outside of a closed café pretty much across town. "Alright," said Emmett. "You know how we have perfect memories?"

"Yes."

"I don't know what any of what you said means, but I can guess, so I'll just say the words, alright?"

"Okay."

He launched right into it. "You said: come for a walk with me. And then you didn't say anything for a long while. That was when Edward came downstairs. After that you said plenty of things in quick succession. I'll just say them, alright?"

"Alright."

"Okay, let's talk. Why now? Another year –…. And then you whispered this: When you say _we_ –, and then you said: okay, I'll come with you. And then: Where you are is the right place for me. Don't be ridiculous, you're the very best part of my life. What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward! Nothing! You promised! In Phoenix you promised that you would stay –"

Emmett took a breath. I realized that what he was saying was the exact conversation the night that Edward had left me, only without Edward's lines. It was like a one man show. I had to try hard not to stop him. I knew the rest, but he didn't know that I knew the rest. And now I realized why Jasper and Alice had to leave. I must have made him feel guilty. As Emmett continued I felt like such a shmuck. "And then you exploded: _No!_ you said, This is about my soul isn't it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already! Then you got really quiet, Bella, and said: You…don't…want me?"

"Emmett, stop. I know what happened next. Edward left. It's as simple as that. I'll bet I stopped talking then, because I woke then. I feel awful that I upset Jasper, though."

"Don't feel bad. I think you upset Edward worst of all. He left as you were talking about Jasper. And Alice took Jasper out after you were done."

"Oh Emmett, after you left I was heartbroken. I missed all of you. But it wasn't just like the love of my life had left me; it was as if someone had died. Because I wanted to have your life so badly, I wanted to be one of you so badly; it was as if a future me had died. And she did. Vampire Bella can never be. By leaving, he destroyed my love and my life. It took a very long time to put myself together again." My eyes began to water.

Emmett reached over and patted me on the head, gently. "That's alright, Bella."

That was the final straw. His pity made it final, the tears were coming more freely then. I was sobbing into his lap, his hand stroking my hair. "I'm so sorry, Emmett." I blubbered, "Thanks for being such a good friend."

"No problem. Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me." A few minutes later the tears subsided and Emmett proposed that we go back to the house. I agreed. I had to apologize to Edward and Jasper, and then talk to Alice.

I hopped on Emmett's back and he ran me back to their house in one minute flat. I sighed, I couldn't get too used to this; it was bringing back memories. He set me back down on the couch, but I got right back up again and went to Edward's room. As I suspected, he was in there listening to music. It was the music that he was listening to that was surprising. I distinctly heard Clare de Lune wafting from his stereo. But the music cut off very quickly when I knocked on the door. Edward let me in. I left the door open.

"Hey Edward. I'm really sorry about last night. I didn't mean for you to hear that. I' sure that it must have made you feel really awkward."

"What do you mean? When you asked if I was going to have my way with you?"

"_What?_" I hadn't remembered that part. I blushed, "I said that?"

"Yes." He smiled my favorite crooked smile. I loved that smile. I almost melted.

"Oh, sorry. I was definitely drunk last night. But no, that is not what I meant. I was actually talking about my sleep talking. I didn't mean for you to hear that. It must have been embarrassing for you in front of your family."

"No, no, don't worry about it. I wasn't embarrassed. Were you?"

"No. I'm just sorry that you had to go through that." I said.

"That's alright. I didn't mind…" he trailed off, but I thought I heard him say "Just hearing your voice is torture enough."

Huh, so he thought that my voice was torture. I was seriously affronted. "Huh," I said, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

"Bella?" I heard his voice behind me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Was it something I said?" He seemed genuinely concerned. But I knew how good an actor he could be. I shrugged and started down the stairs of their mansion. "Bella!"

I turned. "_What_, Edward!" Emmett and Alice showed up in the entrance room to watch this play out. Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie joined them quickly. Apparently Alice and Jasper had returned while Emmett and I were out.

"What's wrong?"

"Why do you care?" And then I gasped. He felt guilty! Poor kid. I smiled at him, "Don't worry about me, Edward. I'm a grown-up now: I can take care of myself."

"I worry all the time, Bella. I'm always afraid that I'll hurt you…again." He seemed to have tacked that last bit on as an afterthought. I felt really bad for him.

"It's alright Edward. I'm fine now; I really don't need you to look after me."

He mumbled something.

"What? Speak up, I'm an old lady, you know."

"I said, I want to look after you."

"What?"

"I said, I want to look –"

I cut him off, "I _know_ what you said."

"Then why did you ask again?"

"Because I thought I'd heard wrong."

"No, no. Not at all. I want to take care of you Bella. I can see that I was wrong and should not have left you. It was disastrous for both of us apparently. I know this is sort of sudden and random, but I love you Isabella Marie Swan. I'm so so sorry!"

"_What?_" I said for the third time.

"I _said_ –"

"I _heard _you!" I sort of stood there awkwardly for a moment. But I couldn't believe him. I forced a laugh weakly out of my throat. "Ha ha, what's the punch line?"

Edward looked affronted. Jasper was about to say something, but Alice put a hand on his arm. I gasped. He really meant it! He really loved me! Jasper could feel it! He loved me…but I wasn't ready for that. I mean, I had Alice now. She deserved a human father. Wait, did I just think 'father'? Would I marry Edward if I had the chance? I thought about it and decided that I wouldn't. It just wasn't logical. I mean, I was thirty-five and here he was standing in front of me in all of his seventeen-year-old underage glory. Besides, technically, he was young enough to be my son.

I opened my mouth to politely bow out, reject him kindly, but never got the chance. He flew down the stairs faster than I could see, and his lips were suddenly softly, gently, on mine.

It was a feeling that I had missed for what seemed like an age and a half. I dreamed about Edward's kisses, I fantasized that we would meet on the street and he would kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. And I knew that I did, but now was not the time. He just exacerbated my hurt by doing so. I was not an object to be used! I know realized that in the past, when we had been together, he was always controlling, protecting me, making decisions for me, I didn't mind then, but now I was 'all grown-up.' I was my own person now, not an Extension of Edward. I had needed someone to look after me like that back then, but not now. Not anymore. I would kiss him when I was good and ready.

I stilled my movements that, until that point, had been surprised. I froze, the way I had when Jacob first kissed me. I only let him kiss me because I knew it would be useless to try to fight him off the same way that it had been with Jake. Esme noticed, Alice noticed, Jasper knew my feelings. Esme gasped, Jasper almost went to rip Edward off of me, I heard from Alice later, but again he was held back by his wife.

When Edward was finished, I turned around and stormed from the house. "Bye, see you around Alice! I won't be here for a while, though."

I got outside and realized that I had no car with me. I went back inside, Alice was three steps ahead of me, I stepped inside and she tossed me a set of car keys. I nodded my head in thanks; Edward and the rest of the family were all standing there in shock. I waved to her again and beeped the keys to unlock the car. What a surprise, a yellow Porsche unlocked itself. It looked extremely expensive and very fast. I shook my head, but was too eager to leave to go and demand a different car. Besides, I was too afraid that I would get the Volvo if I went back in.

I drove home, trying not to think about anything but the roads and street signs.

When I arrived home, I grabbed my bags and put them into my own car. I left the Porsche in my apartment garage and put the keys in my pocket. I concentrated on a decision to park the Porsche where it was, hoping that Alice would See me and her car.

The next thing I did was to pack up some food for the airplane ride, by then I had only about two hours left to waste before picking up Alice. I had nothing better to do, so I sat down to watch TV. In a few minutes, my phone rang.

I picked it up. "Hello, this is Bella Swan speaking."

"Bella, this is Alice."

"Hello Alice. I'm sorry for walking out on you like that, I didn't mean any disrespect." I suddenly realized that I had never gotten a chance to thank Esme and Carlisle for their hospitality. I ordered Alice to do it for me.

"Alright, but listen Bella. Here's what I have to tell you. First of all, Edward is a pigheaded prat, and there's nothing anybody can do about it. Currently he's banging away…" she held the phone away from her ear and I could hear a piano in the far distance. "I'm outside. That's how loud he is. In any case, I am so sorry for what he did to you. He won't apologize, but I will for him. I know that he's never moved on, and I tried to convince him that he shouldn't, but you know Edward…I mean, that was totally uncalled for I –"

I cut Alice off, "What do you mean, he's never moved on?"

"Well, that when we left he stopped doing anything. This is the first that he's been active since we left Forks. He basically moped the entire time. He's been very poorly, and I think that could excuse his rash behavior, at least a little bit?"

"But he's never moved on?"

"Well, yes! Didn't…wait, Emmett told me…" Alice was silent for about a second, "Bella, what did Edward tell you when we left?"

"You heard my dream. That was my side of the conversation. I'll bet that you can catch the drift. And please tell Jasper that I'm sorry, and that I didn't mean to offend him. Tell him that I forgave him the moment he even stepped toward me. I've never blamed him! Tell him that!"

"Of course, Bella, but you didn't answer my question."

I didn't have the bravery to relive that day for the second time in twenty four hours. I gave Alice a quick summary, "We went walking in the woods and then he told me to keep myself safe and that you all had to move. At first I wanted to move with you, but he convinced me to stay."

"But what were his exact words to you Bella?"

"I…I can't, Alice, you can't ask me to…" I swallowed hard, trying not to cry.

"Sorry."

"That's alright, Alice, I understand that you need to know. He told me that he didn't love me anymore, and that I should keep myself safe for Charlie."

"He did _WHAT_!!!" I almost dropped the phone. I heard the piano in the background cut off. Alice swore quietly, it sounded odd in her high shimmering voice. "I've got to go Bella, I'll call you before you get on the plane. And please leave my keys under the cushion of the red chair in the lobby of your building. I'll get them from there later today, bye!" Alice hung up. I did as well.

I checked the time, I had one hour and fifty-three minutes before I could pick up Little Alice.


	8. Chapter 8

Hello again! As I've said before: thank you to everybody who has reviewed! There were 67 of you in the last five days! I was flabbergasted! I said this on the Author's Note of my other story, but I'll say it again for those of you who don't read it (Imagine yourself in my shoes as you check your e-mail 24 hours after posting and finding that your unread e-mails have shot up from 34 to 205!)

Thanks guys:**live4lyf**

**swimmmmmer**

**Lady April of Ohio**

**xoxDrumMajorxox**

**calin-durus**

**breakingdawn7295**

**Li-1980 (aka SpecialK)**

**twilight girl**

**BellaChristopher**

**twilightgrl61692**

**Feenrai**

**Ratava100d**

**yesisalas**

**JennaCullenNV**

**Smily Kylee**

**tigger5600**

**angelinvestigationsfan**

**Fattylumpkins**

**Secretly-A-Vampiire**

**Kaitlin13**

**divine divinity**

**dannniela**

**msnooky**

**19Twilighter19**

**brokenangelwings16**

**ema1gibson**

**cbarkins**

**shoecraz**

**Mmrm26**

**The-Rebel-With-OCD**

**Bonita10**

**iloKi**

**Klumzy**

**Truth of Innocence**

**.for..**

**wilighter1996**

**sugaandspice4990**

**jeniffer masen**

**Nessie'sLaTuaCantate**

**pmvb11**

**VampireZebra**

**...babu**

**AAurelia79**

**arisaswordheart**

**JT3883**

**Portland Girl**

**taneshad**

**Angels And Airwaves**

**augustine4**

**Dancemydreams**

**Kolored**

**april nichole**

**mercedesfrk1121**

**Koinaka**

**colliechild**

**HorsecrazyJr.**

Alright, I'm reposting this chapter because about two paragraphs got cut off toward the end and I also want to clear something up. Alice can have visions of the wolves now, when they decide not to phase. Now that no new wolves have been added to the pack in over fifteen years, they all have good enough self-control that Alice can see them. However, once they even consider phasing, her visions disappear. The Cullens have come up with their own explanation for this disappearance, Bella is happy, and Bella doesn't even know that the visions disappear. Jake and Leah have decided not to phase when Little Alice is around, that's why Alice was able to see the wolves if only for a second.

**I am not Stephenie Meyer!**

**Chapter Eight**

**EPOV**

When Bella arrived at my house late that night my cold dead heart almost went into palpitations. Alice and Emmett had brought her here against my permission, and I was in no state to see her, especially after what had happened in the hallway that afternoon. When I heard her voice, slightly slurred and very amused I realized why Alice had brought her here, she was drunk as a skunk, as they say.

I disappeared when she walked in the door, or rather as Emmett carried her through the door. But then Jasper came up to tell me not to go see her, and that she was already disturbed enough. Apparently Alice had had a vision of why she had been drinking: of her telling the bartender everything about her and me, then him looking at her like she was crazy. I hadn't been paying attention to anything much about the happenings in the house until I heard my name. Automatically, I tuned in to their conversation.

"Where's Edward?" Bella asked, I stood to go downstairs, she wanted me and thus me she would get. I wanted to listen to more, but suddenly Jasper was there, blocking my path.

"Excuse me, Jasper."

"No, you can't see her Edward. She was out drinking because of you, do you think that she wants to see you?"

"I don't care, she wanted me, she asked about me. I have to see her."

"Damn, you're in love. But I'm sorry, Alice ordered me to keep you away."

I threw a lamp at him, the glass shattering all around us; I didn't need him to make fun of me! "Let me _see_ her!"

Trying to dissuade me from satisfying her need for me (Alright, I was exaggerating a bit, but I needed to at the time to soothe my own psyche.) "Edward, she's sloshed. She can barely see straight!"

I growled softly, not wanting to scare Bella. Then Jasper and I both heard Alice hiss up the stairs. "Shut _up_! She can _hear_ you."

"I don't care!" I told her and Jasper defiantly at the same time that Bella said, "I don't mind."

We quieted, and I heard Bella making odd noises and laughing. Jasper raised an eyebrow at me as if to say 'I told you so.'

I heard Emmett say, "I sure as hell hope I did not do that when I was drunk." I didn't need Jasper's power to hear the revulsion in his voice. Emmett was usually pretty easy-going…I knew that Bella must have been pretty, well, drunk.

I took advantage of Jasper's distraction to run downstairs and see Bella. "Hello Bella. Are you alright?" I asked her.

"I'm _great_! And that's _Ms. Swan_ to you!" She said decisively before starting to laugh again.

I was shocked. She was so drunk! The Bella I knew was too sensible to go and get smashed. How had she gotten this way? What had been done to her? "What did you do to yourself?"

"I went to a bar, Edward. A lot of people do it." She seemed somewhat annoyed.

"You're so drunk, though…I never thought that you'd be like this…"

Alice had a smug look on her face. "I am. This is me, Edward. Now that I'm here are you going to have your way with me?" I almost died, if I could have, I would have cried. I got that feeling in my stomach just as if I had just eaten an entire apple pie by myself. I needed to get it out of my system.

Alice started laughing. "I think you should go to bed, Bella. You're not yourself."

"Yes I am! I'll always be Bella!" Her leg twitched oddly before she fell asleep immediately.

It was a while before she began to talk. I remembered loving that she used to talk, but now it was just so much more precious to me. I sat on the bottom step of the stairs, listening to her.

She was mumbling, but I recognized the conversation perfectly. I could have by just the way her lips moved. I had replayed that particular conversation in my head so many times…trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing and that if she was happy, I would be happy.

"Okay, let's talk." She had said that as I was preparing myself to tell her that we were leaving.

"Why now? Another year –" I was listening to her, but I remembered everything perfectly.

"_Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over again soon regardless."_ She had looked confused when I said that, trying to wrap her mind around the concept. I didn't know what her confusion was…and then she looked at me with horror in her eyes. I had to keep so still. I couldn't betray any emotion or she would know that I was lying. I wanted so much to reach out and comfort her…but this had been vital to my act.

Bella spoke in her sleep again: "When you say _we_ –," It was the exact intonation that she had used in the forest. That must be what her dream was about. I couldn't believe it. She still dreamt about me?

I had said, _"I mean my family and myself."_ I had been trying so hard not to use any emotion in my language. I'm afraid that she thought it was coldness…or maybe I hoped that. If she believed me, maybe it wouldn't be all for nothing. But of course know I knew that she had a werewolf in tow. I didn't know if they were married or not, I didn't even know if they lived together, but I hadn't gone back to Bella's house since that night when Alice was sick. Maybe Jacob had returned to her. I knew that her baby was adopted, but it could have been the both of them choosing to adopt. Maybe she couldn't have children…

Bella's voice interrupted my werewolf-deprecating train of thought. "Okay, I'll come with you."

She had been reasoning with me, and I almost said 'Alright, come with me." And scooped her into my arms to run her back to the house in order to pack and let Charlie know. But I didn't, I said instead, _"You can't Bella. Where we're going…it's not the right place for you."_

The second I'd finished thinking that she said, "Where you are is the right place for me."

"_I'm no good for you, Bella."_ It was true then and it's still true now.

"Don't be ridiculous." How I loved that exasperated tone of her voice. It was so cute! Her voice changed a bit and became more pleading than before, "You're the very best part of my life."

"_My world is not for you."_ It wasn't that I hadn't wanted her to be a vampire, it was that I didn't want her be in danger all of her life. Because I knew that with blood so sweet for her to initiate the vampire bite would be an absolute act of suicide (with anybody but Carlisle). Thus she could not be changed, and she could not stay human with me. Of course, now I know that she just went down to the werewolves, the next most dangerous beast…and young werewolves at that!

"What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" Her voice was shrill, beginning to rise.

"_You're right. It was exactly what was to be expected."_

You promised! In Phoenix you promised that you would stay –" Her voice was pleading, so sad…I wanted to kiss her awake, and chase away the bad dreams, but somehow I knew that it wouldn't help.

Alice came up to me, pulling Jasper's hand, "Edward, Jazz and I are going out to hunt if anybody asks, alright?"

I nodded and continued my recollection of that last conversation with Bella. _"As long as that was best for you."_ This is exactly why I had made that stipulation when talking to her in Phoenix. I knew that we would have to go for her own safety.

"_No!_" my imaginary standing-in-the-forest Bella and the real sleeping-in-my-living-room Bella shouted, "This is about my soul isn't it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already!"

That was when I knew she wasn't going to let go…I knew that I had to make the final strike, the words that would send me to my own personal execution. But I had to make the sacrifice for her. I had to let her go without any feelings that she would betray me if she moved on as I knew that she would. _"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."_ I spoke very slowly, having to force out each word separately, having to rely on my fantastic lying skills to shield my eyes from her.

Both Bellas got very quiet. They were both so quiet that I almost couldn't hear her. "You…don't…want me?"

I went hunting that night, when it was clear that I wasn't going to hear any more of her beautiful and torturous voice. I hadn't been there when she woke up. I couldn't decide whether or not to go back for that. I decided to be there when she did, but by the time I got back, just after three in the morning, she was already up. She was talking to Emmett. As I neared the house I heard their conversation.

"…have I bothered Jasper?"

"No, he's gotten better at being around humans. He's tried extra hard since he had you as motivation. I think they left because Alice didn't want to be here until you were fully awake." Did Alice know something that I didn't?

Maybe Bella did, because she tried to get rid of Emmett, "Thanks for taking care of me Emmett," she said, "but I'm no longer a teenager. I'm fine. Let me wander please?"

"I don't think so." Emmett had heard my approach I assumed, and didn't want Bella to wander the house.

"Excuse me?" She sounded affronted. She began to get defensive. But then again, Emmett was a master at the offensive.

"I said, I don't think so."

"I know what you said, but I don't understand why I can't move around the house."

"I don't think Edward would like it." Yes, he had definitely heard my approach.

"So? What does that have to do with me? He has no claim over me anymore." Her words sounded uncomfortably throaty at the end, like she was trying not to cry. I wondered why. Was she angry? I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her until she couldn't breathe.

Emmett asked the question that I had wanted to. I cursed him for being able to be close to her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Her tone was harsh. She wasn't fine. She could read me better than I could read myself…especially after having a child…but that went the other way around as well.

"No you're not. You miss Edward and Alice and me. I know you do. I may act like the big tough guy, you know, but I have feelings too. I understand." Wow, Emmett was being sensitive! I immediately felt guilty for thinking that, he was helping Bella I should be grateful.

"You have _no_ idea. Believe me." Bella sounded angry…upset. "Do you know what it was like? Do you understand at all what I went through? When you left, I didn't eat or sleep for weeks, I went to a psychiatrist but that didn't help. I couldn't talk to her about you, if I had, I would have been institutionalized." Bella had gone to a professional? She was really that depressed? My God.

"I didn't talk to anyone unless asked a direct question. I couldn't watch TV or listen to music without the pain threatening to overwhelm me. I couldn't think about you, because when I did, I couldn't breathe, and I certainly couldn't try to find you. I was told that you went to LA, I knew that you couldn't go there, but where would I begin to look? I was completely catatonic for close to five months. I was forbidden to remember, but absolutely _terrified_ to forget. When my mother came to change my scenery I almost died. I _couldn't_ leave Forks, then how would I know if you were even real?"

These things I had already known. And what she said next shocked me. It chilled me to the bone. "And then I discovered that I could hear his voice when I did something reckless or stupid. Do you realize how scary it is when you realize that you are having hallucinations? I was having a constant breathing problem, Emmett. And it was only after I almost drowned that I realized that I had to start getting over him." She had almost drowned? Had she tried to commit suicide?

"And so I locked him and the rest of you away in a vault that had been sealed shut with my daughter. Alice. And then when you all came back that vault came undone and I could feel everything. All of the hurt and fear and…I came close to ending my own life back then, did you know that? You have no idea. None at all."

I was at the house then. She _had_ tried to commit suicide. I was quite shaken; my Bella would not have done that. She had been so _happy_. I stepped up to the door and opened it. Emmett looked almost as shocked as I was, and I smelled her tears. She looked up at Emmett and was going to say something else to him. But at that point he had already seen me (or heard me) at the door and was telling me with his mind _I'm so sorry Edward. You shouldn't have heard any of that. But I swear to God if you bug her about it I'll tear you apart and not hesitate to burn the pieces._

Bella followed his line of sight and her eyes fell upon me, standing awkwardly in the doorway. I nodded infinitesimally to Emmett, so quickly that Bella could not see, and turned to Bella. I cast around for something intelligent to say, but couldn't do it. Her eyes, her beautiful, amazing, mesmerizing eyes riveted me. I loved her, but I could never have her. And now it was clear. Whether or not she was with the wolf, she still loved me…or at least did for a very long time. It was torture for my poor dead body. Vampires may be sturdy and hard, but we are not immune to our emotions. "Did you sleep well?"

_Edward you idiot! _Came Emmett's 'voice'.

"No." Bella said.

"Right," I said awkwardly and started up the stairs at a human pace.

"Wait! Edward!" Bella called me out.

"Yes?" I had to get out of there

"I never meant for you to hear that, any of it. I'm very angry at you, but you didn't deserve any of that. Sorry." She was apologizing to me? Why? However awful it was to hear of her suffering, I wanted to know.

I told her, I'd always rather know what she was thinking. I told her that much.

Emmett piped up so that Bella could hear as well, "She wasn't saying that for your benefit, brother. It was for mine."

"No," Bella said gravely, "It was for me. I just needed to let it out. I haven't talked about that to anyone. Ever. That's why I was planning to go to Forks today. I wanted to talk to Jacob. I'm leaving on the ten o' clock flight." She was going to Forks? To see Jacob? I was letting this werewolf thing get to me. I had to ignore that, I was sure that she was just going to see Charlie. I climbed the rest of the stairs and disappeared into my room. I lay on my couch silently…trying to block out everything. Trying to die for real this time. I had caused her to suffer like that. This whole fiasco…Jacob, Bella, and Alice…Bella's nightmares…drinking…it was entirely my fault.

However much I wanted to, I was unable to tune out Bella's voice. It was too inbred into my being that I listen to her every word. "What did I _say_ last night?" She seemed appalled at my behavior.

I automatically tuned into the other part of the conversation. "Erm, do you want to take a walk?" Emmett suggested that they get away from the house. I agreed, I had already heard the conversation that they were about to replay too many times. I played it through to myself at least seven times per day.

"Yes." Bella agreed with Emmett, but it sounded like she was agreeing with me. I reveled in that feeling.

Sooner than I would have liked, but also later than I would have liked, they were back. I had turned on Clare de Lune. It reminded me of her. Of that first day…her scent had been so strong. As if I was there in the classroom at that very second her scent suddenly became very strong…stronger…and I took a deep breath, as if trying to commit it to my already perfect memory. My throat burned with the force of a thousand raging fires, but I didn't care. I had become very good at dealing with Bella's scent, having surrounded my mind with it all the time that she was gone. It was a poor substitute for her warmth, but it had been a reminder that my leaving was to protect her. It worked well. I had not returned although I had wanted to so badly. I still wanted to.

She didn't know it, but I had been almost as catatonic as her, not talking to anybody nor hunting, or reading, or even playing piano. I hadn't played piano in seventeen years, though I had listened to plenty of music on my stereo. I couldn't stand to play piano, it was so much a reminder of her that I couldn't stand it.

And then her scent was stronger than ever and I heard a knock on the door, stealing me from my trance. I let Bella in and turned off the music in the same movement. Oh the perks of being a vampire. How I wished that I wasn't one.

"Hey Edward. I'm really sorry about last night. I didn't mean for you to hear that. I' sure that it must have made you feel really awkward." Bella didn't understand my pain.

"What do you mean? When you asked if I was going to have my way with you?" I upheld my promise to Emmett, asking about something other than what I knew that she meant.

"_What?_" She blushed, "I said that?"

"Yes." I smiled at her.

She got that look in her eyes that she used to have a lot. I think it was love. It gave me hope, but it also gave me leave to make the second stupidest mistake in my entire existence. "Oh, sorry. I was definitely drunk last night. But no, that is not what I meant. I was actually talking about my sleep talking. I didn't mean for you to hear that. It must have been embarrassing for you in front of your family."

"No, no, don't worry about it. I wasn't embarrassed. Were you?" That was true, I hadn't been embarrassed.

"No. I'm just sorry that you had to go through that." Silly Bella.

"That's alright. I didn't mind…" I mumbled in a voice that was too low for her to hear, "Just hearing your voice is torture enough." I don't know why, but she did hear me.

"Huh," She said, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

I followed her out, mystified. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She was angry. That proved it.

"Was it something I said? Bella!" At the time I had no idea why she was acting like that. I had been so cocky in my ability to be quieter than her range of hearing that I had upset her. That's when I realized that I needed to tone it down. I had been so arrogant in this past week. Only then did I realize that.

She whirled; I was surprised that she didn't trip. "_What_, Edward!" The whole family raced into the room at a faster than normal speed to hear her yell at me. Thanks guys.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Why do you care?" She gasped and looked at me with new understanding in her eyes. "Don't worry about me, Edward. I'm a grown-up now: I can take care of myself."

"I worry all the time, Bella. I'm always afraid that I'll hurt you…again." I needed to apologize to her in a way that she would accept. But she seemed to be under the wrong impression of why I was worried.

"It's alright Edward. I'm fine now; I really don't need you to look after me."

I said something again.

"What? Speak up, I'm an old lady, you know." How true. Thirty-five…absolutely ancient compared to a 120 year old vampire.

"I said, I want to look after you."

"What?"

Did she not hear me? "I said, I want to look –"

I cut him off, "I _know_ what you said."

"Then why did you ask again?" I was seriously confused.

"Because I thought I'd heard wrong."

"No, no. Not at all. I want to take care of you Bella. I can see that I was wrong and should not have left you. It was disastrous for both of us apparently. I know this is sort of sudden and random, but I love you Isabella Marie Swan. I'm so so sorry!" Maybe she would understand

"_What?_"

Was she really hard of hearing? Maybe she had selective hearing…but she wouldn't, Bella wasn't like that. And besides, that wasn't actually a medical condition. "I _said_ –"

"I _heard _you!" She just stood for a moment, soaking that in. Then she said, "Ha ha, what's the punch line?"

Was she making fun of me? Jasper moved, but Alice stopped him from saying anything. _Edward, don't do it._ She told me with her mind. I didn't know what she meant. Bella opened her mouth to say something. I knew it, she wanted me back! I could see it in her eyes! I ran toward her in triumph and pressed my lips to hers.

But she froze. Jasper was growling too softly for Bella to hear, and both Esme and Alice were yelling at me in their heads to stop. I pulled away from her immediately; her features were cold and unfeeling. I opened my mouth to apologize, realizing that I had been deluding myself. But before I could, Bella ran out of the house shouting something to Alice. I didn't pay attention. Bella had rejected me! I wanted too much to cry. I clenched both fists together. She was with Jacob. That settled it. I was such an idiot.

One second later, Bella returned and Alice passed her a set of car keys. They were the ones to her car, the Porsche.

I sat down to play the piano for the first time in years, I needed to do something with my hands. And truth be told, I missed my beautiful instrument. It had been my pride and joy before Bella came. And it would be my love forevermore. If I couldn't have Bella, I would have music. I started with a new piece, I made it up on the spot, and it was stormy and sad at the same time. But of course, as my life always did, the song turned into Bella's. I found myself playing Bella's lullaby.

And then I heard Alice from a few miles away screech, "He did _WHAT_!!!" She must have been talking to Bella. She didn't call anybody else. I stopped playing to see what they were talking about. Alice swore and told Bella to leave the keys to her Porsche somewhere. I clenched my fists, Alice shouldn't use such profanity around Bella, she was the most pure…I didn't want to think about it.

Bella had told Emmett that she was leaving town. And I, of course, knew that she wasn't lying. She wasn't at school the next day, and for the three days after that it was sunny. When it finally started to cloud up again, she was still not at school. The substitute was an old lady named Ms. Clementine and she liked very much to sleep in class. For the entire Shakespeare unit, we did worksheets and reading every day.

My life became a hell once again. Before Bella my life had been dull, but not bad. When I left Bella my life spiraled downward into a point that I thought would be impossible to return to, but then she came back. Even being able to see Bella was amazing, and it lifted me out of the funk that I had been in for nearly two decades. Now, with her having gone this time, my life was worse than hell. I would take the fires of hell voluntarily if I could simply get my Bella back.

It was even worse to think that every day she was seeing that mutt. Even if they weren't married, it was obvious that they were very close. The more that I thought about it, though, the more it was hard to tell whether or not they were in a relationship. She had told me that she dated a werewolf for a year, but she didn't tell me anything else. Maybe they had broken up…maybe they had gotten married…maybe not…maybe she had just started dating him and recently was their one year anniversary.

And then there was the burning question of little Alice Swan. Bella had guaranteed to me that the girl was not Jacob's child, nor was it hers biologically. However, why would she adopt a child? Maybe she was in a relationship and could not have children. I went on the internet and looked up her medical records using Carlisle's name and account. I wasn't sure whether he would care. But I certainly didn't. By reading her records I found a few interesting things. I found her stint with a shrink, and one reported case of attempted suicide for which she was given various antidepressants. I also found that she had gotten birth control, and seemed to still be taking it. So she was able to have a baby, she just didn't want to. But why would she be taking birth control if she wasn't in a relationship. Just in case? But that's a bit ridiculous. So the question was, what had Bella become, because she certainly wasn't mine anymore.

I tried to block out my family for days, but they kept coming to be. Jasper and Emmett were continuously attacking me for attacking Bella. And Esme wouldn't stop with her sympathetic thoughts. It was making me sick. Carlisle was respecting my wishes for privacy, and Rosalie never talked to me anyway. And then Alice, although she tried to give me the cold shoulder for Bella's sake, couldn't help but have visions. And mostly they were about Bella.

Alice had one particular vision of Bella walking up the steps to her teenage home with an unfamiliar young woman who seemed to be about twenty-five. I then saw Jacob-the-mutt come out of her house with Charlie behind him and sweep Bella down into a back-bending, movie style kiss. The girl with Bella pretended to try and slap Jacob, and Charlie laughed as Alice wrinkled her little five-year-old nose. Bella was trying to keep a straight face, but ended up laughing with the rest of them. Alice recovered after that, and I began trying not to hear from her at all. Now that Bella was back, Alice's visions of the human were more and more frequent. I couldn't help but listen to the one vision in which Bella was talking about me.

"_Finally, you see the danger of those homicidal bloodsuckers."_

_Bella flinched, "Jacob…"_

"_Sorry, Bella." He seemed truly penitent._

_Bella leaned closer to her boyfriend/fiancée and said, "I have something to tell you, about the Cullens. I was at their house last night. I was taken there by Edward's sister Alice. And I was completely drunk. That's why she rescued me to go there. And I had a dream about the day he left me in the woods." She paused for a moment and I saw some moisture gathering in the corners of her eyes, "He ended up kissing me."_

"_Oh my God." Jacob looked at her in horror._ Suddenly the vision disappeared. After that conversation, Alice's visions of Bella totally disappeared. As she said, this meant that Bella was happy…I was glad of that, even though I was so jealous it was making Jasper ache.

My entire English class was suffering, but I most of all. I missed her so much. I was going into Bella withdrawal. It was like I had become addicted, and then broke off the addiction. But then when the drug, Bella, was introduced into my system again, if only for a second, I couldn't quit a second time. I resolved to fight for her this time. I needed her back with me. For eternity.


	9. Chapter 9

Hello! I just got finished watching the super bowl, and I've decided that now is the time to post! _**Go Steelers!**_ Anyway, thanks to all of my reviewers this week:

**Ratava100d**

**cassielovestwiligh**

**angelinvestigationsfan**

**ihearttwilighxo**

**chocolatease**

**alanna-twilight**

**x0xDrumMajorx0x**

**IanO'.Luver**

**HorsecrazyJr.**

**twilighter97**

**twilightlover1101**

**Dancemydreas**

**Lishbashbaaaa**

**Noble Korhedron**

**Kaitmin 13**

**twilightgrl61692**

**steph0123**

**swimmmmer**

**colliechild**

**XxClairesyxX**

**ercedesfrk1121**

**BellaChristopher**

**EllyCullen**

**divine divinity**

**Secrely-A-Vampiire**

**jeniffer masen**

**fieldhockihunni**

**cbarkins**

**LindseyRae**

**Feenrai**

**liv4lyf**

**WishingOnMyStar**

**shoecraz**

**...baby**

**Lady April of Ohio**

**Immortal Strawberries**

**Smily Kylee**

**april nichole**

**pmvb11**

**Angels and Airwaves**

and

**msooky**

And happy reading! If you are wondering about Little Alice's origin, it will be explained in time! Also: I've been told that I said 27 instead of 17 when I was talking about the years that the Cullens had been gone! Sorry!

**I am not Stephenie Meyer; I'm only borrowing her characters for a little bit!**

**Chapter Nine**

When I arrived at SeaTac airport, child in hand, Leah was waiting for me. We kissed on both cheeks and hugged. She was a good friend, we used to hate each other, but those days were long gone. Now I was sincerely hoping that she and Jacob would get married. Then they could live forever together. How beautiful would that be? I would be happy knowing that.

But, true to cliché, Jacob is terrified of commitment. (Bella's Note: As of now, they are _still_ not married!)

Leah and I had a stimulating conversation about various things, the least of which was Edward, and in no time at all we were at Charlie's house. I was to stay in the same room that I had when I lived there, and Alice was going to stay on a mat in my room. There was no other place for her to sleep.

When we walked up the steps to Charlie's house, I was carrying a bag, Alice was carrying a bag, and Leah was carrying a suitcase in each hand. Jacob had come to accompany Charlie in the cleaning of his house in preparation for our last minute flight up. When he opened the door he disregarded Alice and Leah and swept me into a much exaggerated kiss. But when he leaned down, we just kissed on the cheek. Leah playfully chided Jacob, and Alice made a face. To her, kissing is dis_gus_ting. Charlie came hobbling over after that, and we hugged hello as Jacob pulled Alice inside. "Uncle Jake!" she said, "What do you have for me this time?"

As a five year old, Alice already knew that Uncle Jake always had something for her when they saw each other. He doted on her and treated her like she was made of gold. She had him wrapped quite tightly around her little finger. And if Jake was on her pinky, Leah was wrapped around her ring finger. "Who says I have anything for you, Ali?"

She laughed, knowing that he was kidding, "I says!"

"I say." I corrected her.

"Oh give it a rest, Bella." Jacob advised me, rolling his eyes.

"You give it a rest, Jake! I don't want her to grow up to have grammar like _you_!" Everybody laughed.

"Alright, alright, I deserved that." Jake then reached behind him and came up with a small wrapped box for Alice. "Yours." He stated, giving it to her.

She ripped the paper open hastily, rushing to see what was on the inside. Jake knew better than to bother with a card. It turned out to be a teddy bear about the size of her forearm. It was the perfect size in my opinion. "Yes!" she shouted. Jake rumpled her hair…Leah smoothed it back down again.

"What do you say to Uncle Jake and Aunt Leah?"

"Thank you." She dutifully recited.

"You're welcome!" Jake and Leah chorused.

Alice ran up to my old room, now our room, to get the toys that Charlie had stashed there. She brought the entire basked of dolls down and began to set them up in the middle of the living room floor. I crossed my legs and placed my hands over my knees, the paragon of innocence. "So," I said, "Has Jake proposed yet?"

Jake rolled his eyes, "Bella, seriously! We're just dating!"

"Yeah, you've been dating for fifteen years. Give it up already! If you don't propose to Leah soon, I'll do it _for_ you!" Charlie, Leah and I laughed, Jacob shifted slightly in his seat. I patted him gently on the shoulder. "I was just kidding."

I smiled at him, he smiled back. Charlie, conveniently, left about an hour later because my arrival was sort of sudden and he had to work that afternoon since he was not able to get it off. As soon as he was gone Jake and Leah turned to me seriously. "So, what was so urgent that you couldn't wait for the two of us to go up to Jersey?"

"Alice and I were out walking on a wildlife reservation, and Edward was hunting there. It sort of made me realize the danger, I guess. I got tickets as fast as I could."

Jake laughed darkly, "Finally, you see the danger of those homicidal bloodsuckers."

I flinched, "Jacob…"

"Sorry, Bella."

Alice was happily playing with her new teddy and the collection of dolls that was kept at this house for her. I leaned closer to the two werewolves. "I have something to tell you, about the Cullens. I was at their house last night. I was taken there by Edward's sister Alice. And I was completely drunk. That's why she rescued me to go there. And I had a dream about the day he left me in the woods." I swallowed for a moment, willing the tears away, "He ended up kissing me."

"Oh my God." Jacob's hands were shaking, but Leah was in better control, she had been working hard at her anger management classes.

"Oh Bella! It's alright; you'll be safe here with us…I assume that it was a bad thing that he kissed you, right?" Her tone made it clear that it definitely was a bad thing, no matter what I thought. Fortunately, I agreed with her. Leah put one hand on Jacob's shoulder, and he slowly stilled his movements. Alice was completely oblivious to the entire hullabaloo.

I sighed, "Yeah, it's a bad thing. I mean, it isn't as if I don't still dream about him…but they're mostly nightmares now." I didn't tell them that the nightmares were about the day that he left: that was why they were nightmares. Otherwise, if I was dreaming about him, it a dream about him taking me back. But they didn't need to know that.

"Oh, sweetheart." Jacob sighed and pulled me into a hug. I willingly complied. Leah patted my shoulder. Alice finally noticed that I was upset. She burst into tears. Leah went to her and picked her up. She reached for me and I took her into my arms, whispering soothing words into her ear. It felt better to have her in my arms.

I sat like that with her for a while, eventually I moved off of Jacob's lap and onto the loveseat. I patted her back as she 'read' a picture book and I chatted with Jacob and Leah. I told them everything, from the moment that Edward walked back into my life to the moment that I stepped on the plane.

I started dinner while Jake and Leah asked me questions. Leah and Jake left around seven to have a pack meeting. Eventually, around seven-thirty, Charlie came back home and we sat down to eat. The three of us had a nice, innocuous chat about various things, my job was not discussed. That was the reason that I'd told Charlie for my visit. I told Charlie all about Colin and Alice, and he teased her about it for a while before I asked to use the bathroom to give her a bath before bed. I put her to bed in my room and went downstairs for a chat with Charlie over some tea. I made sure to lock my window first. I hadn't opened it in years, so I was pretty sure that it was stuck closed anyway, but it's always better to be safe than sorry.

"So, Bells, I didn't really get to talk to you today. How's life?"

"It's alright, work's a hassle, but _somebody's_ got to bring in the bacon." I said jokingly, with no intention of giving up any more information.

He laughed, "Same here. I'm not quite old enough for social security yet."

I rolled my eyes. "You're fifty-three, Dad."

"Well, hey, that's only what…ten years?"

"I guess." He didn't notice my expression. For me even one year was monumental…one year more different from Edward. Lucky Charlie, he had Sue. It seemed to me that everybody was paired up except for Alice and me. Even my half-brother, John, had a steady girlfriend at the age of seventeen. I heard a commotion upstairs, so Charlie and I both headed up to see what was going on.

It was Alice, she was rolling around in her bed, and I covered the edges of the floor around her bed with pillows to make sure that if she fell, then she it would be onto something soft. She usually had trouble adjusting to new sleep areas for the first few nights. Nothing was wrong. I then bid Charlie goodnight and went to wash up. I was ready for bed within a half hour and was asleep in another half hour.

"_Okay, let's talk." I said. It sounded braver than it felt. _

_He took a deep breath_

"_Bella, we're leaving."_

_I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared, but I still had to ask. _

"_Why now? Another year –"_

"_Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over again soon regardless."_

_His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant. _

_He stared back coldly._

_With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood. "When you say we –," I whispered. _

"_I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct._

_I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took several minutes before I could speak._

"_Okay," I said, "I'll come with you."_

"_You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you."_

"_Where you are is the right place for me."_

"_I'm no good for you, Bella."_

"_Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."_

"_My world is not for you," he said grimly._

"_What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" _

"_You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."_

"_You promised! In Phoenix., you promised that you would stay –"_

"_As long as that was best for you." He interrupted to correct me._

"_No! This is about my soul isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me – somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already!" _

_He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder – like the liquid gold had frozen solid._

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. _

_There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them through their real intent. _

"_You…don't…want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order._

I started awake, gasping for air, staring around in the dark room, looking for the forest that I had just been in.

When I finally realized that it was, once again, a dream, I got out of bed to get a drink of water. The floor creaked on my way to the bathroom. I didn't think anything of it, it was an old house…this floor was certainly feeling the disuse of years and years. I could imagine how I would feel as a floor if I hadn't been used in years, and suddenly 120lbs were stepping all over me.

_Okay,_ I told myself, _irrational thoughts mean that you need to go back to bed, Bella._ And so I did.

When I woke again, it was to an alarm clock. I rose and went downstairs to cook breakfast. Charlie had already gone, but left grocery money on the counter. I made eggs for Alice and myself while I walked around the kitchen to make a shopping list.

I dropped Alice into my old truck. I had left it here when I moved to Jersey. I had thought to bring her car seat thankfully… and we went to the small store in Forks. This was bringing back old memories. But I rather liked it. I enjoyed the purr…okay; the _growl_ of the truck's engine and it was helping me relax.

At the store I bought some bread and fixing for sandwiches. I also bought a recipe book for fish. Apparently there were a lot of people doing the same thing in Forks, because there was an entire shelf full of books. And then, seventeen years older, I ran into somebody that Jacob had introduced me to and whom I had loved. She was the one who recognized me, though, "Bella?"

"Oh my goodness! Emily!" I embraced her quickly.

"Hey Bella, how are you these days? I heard, from the pack, that you were having a bit of a problem about…vampires." She said very quietly.

"Yeah, their next repeat of high school led them to my town…and to the high school where I teach. And yes, it is the Cullens."

"Wow." She said quietly. "I am so sorry."

"Yeah, but that's alright, I'll be fine. That's why I came down here, you know, they were in my space and the bronze haired one almost attacked my daughter." The names of the various vampires meant nothing to them except for Carlisle.

"But, Bella, that's the one who you…" Oh, so she did remember.

"Yeah, but that was seventeen years ago, Emily, and he's actually been quite a nuisance in class. Not to mention that he snuck into my house a couple of times." I didn't know why I was telling her this. Maybe I needed somebody to talk to who would understand and yet not try to burst into gigantic-wolf-shape when she heard.

She gasped, "Why?"

"I have no idea. He's a sick bastard?"

"Bella!" She made significant eye movements toward Alice, but she wasn't paying attention, but instead reading a cookbook as if it were a story book.

"And then the pepper was in a different plate…he made good friends with the fishes on every plate…" Alice wasn't paying attention to me in the slightest.

"Well, I'm pretty darn serious. He's just, God, he _kissed_ me, Emily. It's been seventeen years since I've seen him, and now he just decides to come along and insert himself into my life! I mean, I don't have a boyfriend…how could I…but he has no right! And I'm eighteen years older than him! This is totally ridiculous!"

"Is that why you came here?"

"Yeah, that and because he almost drank my blood."

"Hey, why don't you and Alice come on over for dinner tonight? Sam will be home tonight and we are going to have a whole pack-gathering." She said gently. But obviously to remind me that I had been adopted into the pack after the Cullens had gone. I was not allowed to be involved with Edward.

"Sure, that sounds great. What should we wear?"

"Whatever, all of my boys usually run around half-naked, so as long as you've got something on both your top and your bottom it should be fine." She laughed.

"Thanks!" And then we reverted to the usual conversations that thirty-something old women usually had if they happened to meet at the grocery store after eighteen years.

It turned out that she and Sam were married, now, and she had just found that she was expecting. She swore me to secrecy, though, because the other purpose for the dinner was the announcement that the first pack-child was to be born. Unfortunately, this guaranteed that the poor kid would be a werewolf when he got older if the vampires showed up. However, this also guaranteed that it would be the Alpha. Sam was the Alpha and his child would be too…unless he didn't want it and Leah's child would be Alpha. Jake still had the Alpha blood in him, he was just willing to let it slide though, and he didn't want to be Alpha.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys, thanks for putting up with the long wait! I've had a crazy weekend, but it's over now, so here we are! Enjoy! And, just in case you didn't notice, I reposted chapter eight because the end was messed up…also, in the Author's Note there is an explanation for why Alice (Cullen) can See the wolves! Enjoy!

Oh, and by the way, if you all have liked this story so far, go have a look at **Darker than Black** by **Black Moon Falling**!

Thanks to those who reviewed!

**cassielovestwilight**

**Angels and Airwaves**

**april nichole**

**pmvb11**

**Secretly-A-Vampire**

**twilightgrl61692**

**mercedesfrk1121**

**Kaitlin13**

**divine divinity**

**steph0123**

**sugaandspice4990**

**twilighter97**

**Ratava100d**

**Bonita10**

**colliechild**

**Smily Kylee**

**jeniffer asen**

**HorsecrazyJr.**

**Randi l.**

**liv4lyf**

**GothicaGirl-911**

**x0xDruMajorx0x**

**Jay13LyCaN**

**emma1gibson**

**angelinvestigationsfan**

**absexton**

**Black Moon Falling**

**faeriegal713**

**celes04**

**LindseyRae**

**Twilightadorer**

**ihearttwilightxo**

**LostGirl99**

**Miranda-Black-Cullen**

and

**EmilieDeVere**

**I am not Stephenie Meyer, and in this story…I only own Alice Swan! But she's pretty good, don't you think?**

**Chapter Ten**

After Alice and my extended shopping trip we headed home to see what was going on there. Nothing special was happening, Charlie was out fishing as he had been so many times when I was a kid. I put away the groceries and then, since Alice was at first beach with Leah and Jake, I started to do some cleaning. Charlie was too busy to clean…and he most definitely didn't want to. Sue mostly did the cleaning, because she didn't work, but I didn't want her to have to do it all now that I was around. I started with my room.

Since I had decided to come so suddenly there had not been much chance for my room to be cleaned up. I was pretty sure that what had happened was that the room had quickly been cleared of all the boxes that were now crowding the basement. But there was still sawdust and other such things on the floor. There was really too little to sweep, so I took out a vacuum and started to run it. Suddenly, the vacuum stalled and I bent down to see what was the matter.

I opened the canister in the heart of the vacuum and then closed it again when I saw that the vacuum didn't need to be replaced. I stepped back, concluding that the stall was just a random malfunction and that I was free to start again. I turned it on and began to vacuum once more. I ran it a few times over the offensive spot and found that the floorboard was loose in that one area. I assumed that a woodchip had gotten caught in there.

Just to see why it was loose I stepped on it a few times, hoping to find a weak spot that I could nail in later that day. Instead, I got a bruise on my shin when it flew up to reveal a cavity underneath. And filling the hole were all sorts of things that I had tried so hard to block out of my memory. There was a CD and quite a few tarnished photographs. A few presents that he had given me, one from Carlisle and Esme. I had thrown out all of my things from him that he had not 'taken' with me, such as the stereo for my truck and the clothing that Alice had given me. But now I see that most of the things were all here, in my room, the entire time.

In a fashion very similar to that first night without him I froze, my muscles collapsed. Again I felt the wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and finally the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had receded until now reared high up and washed over my head.

But this time I was better prepared. I had Alice and Jake and Leah and Charlie and Frankie and Angela and even Renee, however insubstantial she was to rely on. When he, Edward, had gone I hadn't been in Forks long enough to bond with anybody but him, even my father was pushed to the sidelines for him, but now, with seventeen years of social relations that I could rely on I would not fall so far that I could not recover.

But I was content to cry and scream in the empty house until it was one-thirty and I realized that Alice, Leah and Jake would be over in a few minutes. My best friends and daughter would be there for me. I left the vacuum there and the floorboard open when I went to clean myself up. Jake had seen me in much worse condition, and Leah wouldn't care, but as always, Alice was most important.

When I opened the door to let them in Jake immediately went from good cheer to worry. Leah's expression changed in the same manner. Alice's excitement didn't dissipate immediately, though, she held up a few pretty rocks that she had found on the beach. I admired them half-heartedly for a moment and then went to place them on the coffee table. I smiled at her, and Jacob visibly relaxed. Jacob grabbed my hand as I took Alice's raincoat from her (they had brought it just in case) and looked into my eyes while he mouthed, 'Do you need to talk?' I nodded gratefully.

He took Leah aside gently and asked her to take Alice up to our room to play. I heard him and shrieked, "No!"

All three people looked around. They were all shocked. I tried to feel my face from the inside out and found that it was unfeeling, mask like it had been seventeen years ago. I forced a smile. "What I meant to say was, maybe Leah and Alice could play in the backyard instead of in our room? I have to show Uncle Jake something in there. Is that alright with you guys?"

"Of course." Said Leah. Of course she wouldn't care that it was raining buckets outside. She only took Alice's raincoat back from the closet and donned one of her own. Leah was the only werewolf concerned with wearing clothing, so she kept a raincoat on her most of the time as well to keep her clothing dry. That, of course, made it difficult to phase on the fly but she said it was worth it. The younger ladies disappeared.

We waited until the door closed to relax our façade. I let out a strangled scream and fell into Jake's arms, crying. "Shh, Bella honey, shh, it's alright." He held me up easily with all of his extra mass and extra strength, but he relocated to the couch in order that I could lie down. I curled up with my head in his lap. "Alright," he said soothingly. "Now tell me what's wrong, sweetheart."

He patted my hair as I sobbed; ruining his shirt…he had put one on because he didn't like to go half-naked around Alice. He said that he didn't want her to get used to half-naked boys. He had volunteered to be her protector…like a big brother in some ways more than an uncle. And, of course, he was her godfather. That was another thing to be thankful for as I confided in him. "Oh, Jake," I sniffed, "It was awful. I was cleaning up our room today…and the vacuum broke and…" I collapsed into tears again. But there were none left in my system. I just heaved dry sobs for a few minutes before I could calm down.

"I was vacuuming, and then the floor…opened…and then I was looking into the hole. And Edward was inside there!" I bawled.

"I'm sorry, honey, I'm not following you. Can you explain more?" He seemed tense, but not overly anxious. He obviously could not smell the vampires, he was confused.

I shook my head, I could not explain more.

"Can you show me?"

"Sure, Jake, it's upstairs. You know where my room is."

"Do you want to come up with me?"

"Not really." I looked up at him, mostly cured after being able to have a little – big – cry about it. "I'm sorry for ruining your shirt, Jake."

"No problem," he told me. "It's been worse." He grinned.

I did too. When Alice was a baby and I had brought her on a plane to Forks it hadn't gone so well. The moment that we had gotten off of the plane Jake had met us; and he had been met by some spectacular barf on Alice's part. The security had understood, thankfully, when he took off his shirt. Not that he had been cold.

He reached out a hand to help me get off of the couch. I sighed, grabbed his hand, and pulled myself up. "I'm going to go wash my face, Jake; you can have a look if you want."

"'Kay, Bells. Are you sure that you're alright?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." I looked out of the back door. "Maybe I'll go join the girls; maybe I'll send Leah in. What do you think?"

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me. Just don't hurt yourself, okay Bella? Do you promise me?" Oh, so he was worried about that. He never really had gotten over that attempted suicide of mine. Well, what was I _supposed_ to do? My reason for existence had gone away, never to return! So why should I exist anymore? That had been my reasoning. But I was fine now. I was on antidepressants, anyway. I had been for about fifteen years. I'd never stopped taking them, just in case.

I placed both hands over my heart. "Broke my heart and hope to die, Jake." It was my own personal twist on the phrase. It was our code that I needed help, but was sane enough to realize that. "Seriously, I'll call a doctor, alright?"

"Alright," he said, backing out of the room his eyes still on me.

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the faucet, but knocked over the soap dish that was on the counter in the process. I jumped backward, away from the breaking porcelain and ended up backing into the shower, which had a glass door. The shower door fell into the shower, shattering, and I fell in with it. I didn't make a noise, used to such catastrophes, but then I did curse when I noticed the blood gathering on the palms of both hands and wrists.

It was my blood; I had braced my fall into the shower with my hands, and had ended up smashing my wrists against the serrated edge of the shower door track. I began to feel faint; I stopped breathing through my nose and got up carefully, picking glass out of my skin. Jake came in the door then, "Bella!" he roared.

"Hey Jake, do you want to give me a hand?" I was still picking glass out of my hands and wrists.

"You _promised_, Bella! What in the world…I could smell the blood from upstairs! Did you think you could get away with this?" He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the bathroom.

"Ow, Jake! Let _go_!" I stumbled along behind him. He went to the front closet and grabbed my coat.

"Put this on."

"Where are we going, Jake?"

"Dr. Gerandy's."

"Will you let me clean up first? I thought that was the plan!"

"It was, until you started cutting yourself again! You _promised_, Bella!" His face was tortured, angry and scared all at the same time.

"Jake!" I said, shocked, "I wasn't cutting myself! Can you believe that? I fell!" I wasn't surprised that he had thought that, but I was still bothered that he still didn't trust me not to kill myself. "I have something to live for, now." I told him, "Alice is just outside. How do you think she would feel if I just died? She's already been orphaned once, Jake."

He looked hurt, "You had something to live for last time, Bells, I was there…remember?"

"Yeah, I guess." I didn't know what to say. He wasn't enough? That would be a lie. Maybe that he wasn't a reason to exist; he had been a reason to keep going. But if I had to make the choice I still would have gone into nonexistence. That's why I cut myself the first time. Fortunately for me, I failed to kill myself and Jake found out the next day when I called to cancel our date and he came over.

"Here, come on," he held onto my wrist and pulled me back to the bathroom.

"Let go, Jake. You're hurting me." I said in a much calmer tone than before. We got to the bathroom, "Look," I pointed out the fallen shower. "That fell when I backed up into it to avoid the porcelain from that." I pointed to the soap dish.

He started laughing, "I would only believe that from you, Bella!"

I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or insulted. I rolled up my sleeves and washed the blood down the drain, realizing only then that I had been breathing this whole time and not smelled a thing. Weird, maybe I was becoming immune to the smell of blood…I drew in a long breath. My head spun. No, I guess that I was just caught in the moment.

I dried my arms and fixed my shirt. I went outside of the bathroom and taped a piece of printer paper on the door that said:

**Caution**

**Do Not Enter**

**Broken Glass**

Hopefully, that would keep Leah, Alice and Charlie out until I could get back and clean up. I pulled on my coat and grabbed my purse and prescription to the medicine that I was taking. I was going to a new psychologist, so I didn't want to come unprepared.

At the office Jake checked me in while I waited for him in the waiting room. I picked up a magazine that said, **Parenting for Dummies** just for the heck of it. I was reading a short story sent in by a mother about how her seven year old child tried to make her adopt a new cat by getting one off of the street and setting it loose in their house. Chaos ensued. Jake came back to sit by me and told me that the psychologist would be free for an emergency between 2 and 3, his usual lunch break. I checked the clock. Jake and I decided to stick around for that time; it was only about fifteen minutes. We were called in after the final patient left.

He stuck out his hand, "Hello, I'm Dr. Maxwell Steinberg, but you can just call me Max, everybody does."

Jake and I shook his hand and we went into his room. The visit was brief. He gave me his card just in case and a prescription for a different kind of medicine, something that he said would work better than my current medicine. We left. I vowed never to go to a shrink again. I hated having to choose my words so carefully!

Back at the house, Alice and Leah were cooking dinner. They were bringing it out of the kitchen and setting the table.

"Aw, guys! You didn't have to do that!"

"It was our pleasure!" said Leah and the same time that Jake said, "Nice!" and pulled out a chair to sit down. I laughed and we all sat down to eat some lasagna. I was cured…for now.

And guys, if you're about to review, please tell me where you think this story should go! I know where I want it to end up, but I need ideas for the middle. So just tell me how you think it should end…and get to your ending! Thanks a million!

-SopranoandBass


	11. Chapter 11

Hey everyone, it was pointed out to me two days ago that the last time I updated was February. I'm not even going to try to make excuses, but I will tell you that I was just waiting for real life to quiet down. And real life always comes first. So, to make a long story short, I feel really bad for not updating for such a long time! That's no way to repay you guys for the amazing reviews that I have been getting. Also, I want to apologize to all of the people to whom I said, 'next chapter will be out this week! Promise!' and it never came. I feel so bad, guys, sorry.

As I said in my other story, because of real life there are going to be some changes in my _modus operandi_ (how I operate). I'll try to update whenever I can, but it'll probably be one week at most. Also, I really wanted to reply to all of my readers when they reviewed to this story. But I just won't have time to answer more than questions or suggestions. Sorry . I feel terrible. But thanks for bearing with my, you guys. If you could hear me, I would give you each a huge round of applause and all of you definitely get major hugs from Lil' Alice!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**Chapter Eleven**

**EPOV – Eagle Rock Reservation Incident**

I was hunting. I had done so every day of the past week. I didn't want to be any less than bloated when around Bella. I couldn't risk hurting her. But, by protecting Bella from myself, I ended up hurting her again. The story of my life…or existence.

I had started out reasonably, nailing a few deer and then heading home. But then Bella's scent washed over to me from the entrance to the park. I snarled, and my senses were overwhelmed. I wouldn't be able to stop. And I wasn't.

I raced toward the beautiful scent with a newfound intensity, thinking about how amazing it would taste. A reaction that I would only have toward Bella. How inconvenient that the woman I love is my singer. I wanted to drink her blood until she was lying lifeless on the ground. But something stopped me. It was Bella herself. I heard her talking to her daughter, Alice, she was comforting Alice.

She was standing absolutely still, not moving at all, except to talk to her daughter. That was what had stopped me at first. She wasn't running. Why wasn't she _running_? My animalistic side was confused, why wouldn't she run? Did she have a death wish? It was no fun to kill something that just wanted to die!

She said my name then, she knew I was there, "Edward! It's me, Bella, and Alice!" I knew that already! Why did she _think_ I was following her? Because she was Queen Victoria?! "You love Alice! Don't hurt her!" I did? I didn't love Alice, I loved Bella! I loved Bella.

Why should I kill her if I loved her? _Why_ was I chasing her again? I took a deep breath. Bad idea. I smelled her scent, stronger than ever. I crouched down again, trying to be stealthy…why, I did not know. She had already sensed my presence! "Edward," She whimpered. "You can kill me, I know I've been awful to you, but just leave Ali. Please. I wish…" she stopped talking, and I wondered why, my childish vampire side wanted to know what she wanted to say. She thought I wanted to kill her because I was angry with her? What a weird woman, I wanted to kill her because she smelled so damningly good!

She started talking to Little Alice, I didn't pay any attention, and I sensed three more vampires sneaking up on me.

Then there were three growls, and I turned to face two males and one female vampire. I didn't recognize them immediately; I almost attacked my own siblings! And in my one second of realization, Alice had leaped at me and pinned me to the ground. She was snarling more frightfully than she had every before, and then Jasper was next to her, covering my face with his hand. Emmett took the opportunity to sit on me. It was not comfortable.

I felt Bella's scent slipping away and tried to wriggle out from underneath my gigantic brother to run after her. I wanted her blood! It was only once the smell had dissipated that I realized what had happened, I went limp on the ground and Alice finally told the boys to lay off of me. I got up and then noticed the pain. I looked down at myself and noticed that I was all scratched up. My siblings hadn't bitten me, but they had definitely put some effort into their attack. I grimaced, "Thanks guys."

"No problem." Emmett said, gleefully.

Alice was behind me, I didn't see it coming. Her fist swung out and around to cut me in the jaw. I winced in pain, "_That_ was for leaving her in the first place." She said, and then I felt another punch on the other side of my jawbone. "_That_ was for coming back!" She brushed off her hands and legs, from having to sit on the ground. "C'mon Jazz, I've _got_ to change out of this disgusting outfit!" She turned to me, "And _you_! I _need_ to find you some decent clothing. I'm sorry to say that this outfit will no longer be in circulation." She bowed her head, as if honoring the 'dead' clothing. But I knew she was just joking around, she loved any excuse to shop some more.

I trudged along, as well as you can trudge at 40 miles per hour, back to the house behind my siblings. Esme was in the drawing room when we entered. She gasped, "Edward! What…? No. Do you know what? I don't want to know. Just go get changed." She sighed and went back to her work.

Emmett rolled his eyes, "You know," Edward, "When a mother doesn't want to know, that means it's bad."

I glared at him. "Don't talk about mothers to me."

"Why?"

Rosalie called from the room that she shared with Emmett, "Because Bella's a mother, nimrod." She berated to her husband. "Edward just can't face his fears. He's scared to be with a grown-up, and does not want to be a father. Of course, the fact that she cares for her child more than she cares for him is cutting him deeply." She sighed, "Meet me in the garage, Em, I was just on the internet and found another thing I could try with my engine."

"Sure thing, sweetheart." Emmett raced off quickly.

I walked at human speed into my room and switched on the CD player. It was Debussy, Clare de Lune. I smiled and lost myself in a world of Bella. I wanted to be with her again, I would do _anything_ to be with her! But this close call just underscored why it was impossible, why I had left in the first place. And then there was Alice! Little Alice could not be a vampire, and Bella would not leave her daughter. I could always wait! But then Bella would be even less inclined to be a vampire. Then if I _did_ turn Bella, after Alice was old enough to decide for herself whether or not to become a vampire, Bella would understand my dilemma and feel awful about taking her soul…or not. I could always leave her human and just be with her. But what had she called that? 'Sick' I think. I didn't want to do anything that would bother her.

I could just ignore her; my brain rejected that idea right away. I could wait until I gradated from High School…that may work. And I don't even know if she loves me! God, I had a huge problem.

The next morning, about twenty minutes before school, I showered, put on a clean shirt and pants, and jumped in the car with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie.

I made it through the rest of the day, the teachers noticing my deviation from the usual smooth politeness, but not mentioning it. It was only in my last period class that I couldn't read the teacher's mind to know that. But Bella didn't make any mention of my mood or injuries, so I didn't make anything of it. But when she asked me into the hall to talk, I knew something was up. I would have refused, and asked to go to the bathroom or something, but there was something in her eyes, something so caring, so loving, so…well, so _Bella_, that I had to go talk to her.

"Are you alright?" she asked, I didn't say anything, I was still getting used to her scent. "Alright then…" she was flustered.

I quickly realized that humans didn't like to go unanswered, and however good she was at guessing, she could not read my mind. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Really?" she was skeptical. Maybe she _could_ read my mind.

"No. Do I look alright? I didn't.

"Well, no, but that's why I came out here to ask you if I could help." She was so caring, so lovely, I loved her so much.

"Can you listen?" There was nothing else that she could do for me.

"Yes." That simple answer was so welcome to me. So beautiful, so _bella_.

"Yesterday I was hunting in Eagle Rock Reservation," Bella opened her mouth fractionally, she was surprised? "I was hunting and I caught your scent. I was brought up short. I lost all control. I remember the feeling, it was very liberating actually, but afterwards it was quite scary. I caught your scent and I followed it all of the way across the forest. I wanted you so badly." Did she look afraid? Should I stop? No…she didn't look at all phased. What a strange woman! "But when you didn't _run_ I was so bewildered. I had changed completely into an animal and the only reason that the predator chases is for the fun of it. If the predator wants to, it can just kill the thing. But when you outsmarted the vampire it knocked me back into Edward. And I heard you talking. I remember very clearly what you said to me." I closed my eyes. "Edward! It's me, Bella, and Alice! You love Alice! Don't hurt her! Edward, you can kill me, I know I've been awful to you, but just leave Ali. Please. I wish…" She honestly thought that I loved Alice more than I loved her! Intolerable! Just another sign of how badly I had screwed up.

Then I started crying! I was acting like a little girl! God, I wouldn't have ever thought that you were telling the truth if you had told me that I would be crying outside of Bella Swan's classroom at Montclair High School I would have laughed my head off (after ripping your head off)! But now, I was, and I wanted her to hold me. I wanted her hands in mine, and my hands in hers. I wanted to kiss her, and I wanted her to kiss me back. I wanted to scream with her, growl with her, hunt with her, even to kill with her, anything with her! I just wanted _her_.

And then, suddenly, her warmth enveloped me. Her arms were surrounding my waist…and her face…so close to mine! Wasn't she freezing? I felt the urge to cover her with a blanket. I turned, and she let go of me. Good thing. I was about to kiss her. Right in the hallway would be _bad_! "Bella." I said. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, she covered her mouth and ran away. Did I scare her off _again_! Oh Lord!


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys. This chapter is over three-thousand five hundred words! I hope you all enjoy it!

This chapter is dedicated to **cinda1, Kinesha Pendock**, and **AprilNichole** for getting me back on the right track. Thanks guys!

**Disclaimer: None of this is mine! It all belongs to Mrs. Stephenie.**

**Chapter Twelve**

The day after I had gone to see Dr. Max I felt fine again. I got a good night's rest, just as he'd prescribed, and I felt much better in the morning, well enough to eat a good breakfast. I went upstairs after breakfast to close up the floorboard, but before I did, I resolved to look inside. It was just a quick glance, but it told me all that I needed to know. There were two envelopes in there, I pulled each one out. Beside them were a CD, and several other things that I recognized and associated with Edward. Obviously that was why he put them here; _it will be as if I'd never existed. _ I sighed, this was so melodramatic, so Edward. I nailed the floorboard shut again, only leaving the two envelopes on my bed. I didn't want to look at the other things. I opened the smaller, white, envelope first. It had two pieces of stiff paper inside.

I looked at the paper closer; they were two tickets to Jacksonville, Florida. I looked at the envelope again; in neat ink were the words:

_For Bella_

_From Carlisle and Esme on the happy occasion of your birthday:_

They were presents from my parents-to-be on my eighteenth birthday! It was a shame that they had expired, I hated to offend them in any way, even by not using a gift. I put them in a drawer. I opened the manila envelope next. I thought I knew what was inside, and I was right.

Inside were pictures, every single picture of Edward and me together. There were several that had been taken before my eighteenth birthday, and then those taken after. I saw the difference. Edward's happy, smiling face, Edward's face exasperated with my childish interest in him, Edward's lovely, beautiful face…and then Edward's hard, stone cold face, Edward's face that didn't love me anymore…or did…

He had told me that he loved me. So? What did that mean anymore? He left me for my own good?

Oh God. He _had_ left me for my own good! After that, he'd tried to stay away from me! And it wasn't as if he hadn't thought it through! He had tried to distance us before he left, tried so hard, but I hadn't let go. I _still_ hadn't let go! And he hadn't either! Oh God!

And I had believed the lie! He really _had_ loved me when he was saying it…but he _lied_. A memory suddenly came to me, _that's because you believe the lie Bella!_ He was a good liar, he had to be! And that whole show in the forest, when he dumped me, it was just that, a show. It had all been an act. Edward still loved me? Edward still loved me! And some part of me, deep down, rejoiced, as if it had know that all of this time, but only kept it a secret from me…probably for my own good!

I needed to scream. I ran downstairs. "Jake!" I called, "Do you want to go cliff diving?"

"Sure?" came the response. It was more of a question than an answer.

"For therapeutic purposes, maybe?" He was much more willing then. We changed into bathing suits, got into my car and we drove to the tip of the cliff where I had seen Sam, Jared, and Paul dive years before. I parked almost at the edge, because although my clumsiness had recovered mostly with age, I still was far from perfect. I didn't have the intent of falling off of the cliff before I was ready.

I walked quickly to the edge of the cliff. "I'm ready, Jake!" I had done this hundreds of times before, but never without a partner, that was just stupid.

"'Kay!" he said back, "I'll be right behind you!"

"No, let's jump together." I said.

"Alright." He took his place next to me, and we scanned the cliff below, making sure that we could jump far enough out not to hit anything. It probably wouldn't hurt Jake, but I didn't want to be Bella-mush on the side of a cliff.

I put my hands above my head, as if I was diving into a pool not off of a cliff, and counted down. On 'zero' Jake and I tumbled off of the cliff. I was falling, "Yes!" I hissed. I screamed then, like I had wanted to. Jake only watched me, chuckling. "I knew it." I whispered to the wind, "I knew he loved me. I really did!" I knew even more out here, surrounded by nature, right where I was supposed to be.

I hit the water and, after struggling for a minute, bobbed up and down above the waves. Jake and I swam to shore. He got there first, _show off_, and pulled me up when I reached the end. "Gosh." I said, "Diving at thirty-five is definitely different than diving at eighteen!" Jake agreed readily and laughed with me. We headed home to change, and to relieve Leah of her babysitting duties.

**EPOV**

A few days after Bella had left us to wallow in misery without a teacher, Alice had yet another vision. This one also concerned Bella. She was stepping up to the side of a cliff, and Jacob Black was with her. A good look at him, it was easy to tell that he was Ephraim's grandson. The resemblance was striking. Bella was laughing with him. Then they jumped. Alice's vision followed her down, catching some things from her mouth, and then I was able to read her lips for the other parts.

She was confessing her love to me…to nobody. Although the werewolf was right next to her, she wasn't talking to him. She landed quicker than I would have thought, and then climbed out of the water with Black. She looked worn. I decided to check her medical records again, on instinct, as I thought about her strange confession.

This was all that my brain could think at the moment, _She loves me! Bella loves me! She really does! God! Bella! _

When I saw her record, my brain changed its train of thought. It became self-deprecating once again. In the short time since I had last checked on Bella, she had gone to a shrink, and was prescribed different meds. Was I the cause of this? Certainly. I needed to go to her, keep her out of trouble with cliffs, and keep her in my arms.

After all, she loved me now, it didn't matter what I did, right?

Alice suddenly came barreling into the room, "Don't you _dare!_" she screeched, "I _saw_ what you're about to do, and you had better not!"

"Why not? I have every right!"

"Did I hear you correctly? You do not have _any_ right to do _anything_! Listen to me, Edward. You've screwed up badly in the last few weeks, and there's only one way that I can think of to make it better! You have to take it slow, make her trust you again. You physically assaulted her! She could actually press charges for that! Then, of course, you have been nothing but a bother in her class. You need to tone it down, take it one step at a time, just because she loves you doesn't make it okay for you to do anything that you want! She's no longer an impressionable teenager, Edward, she has a life, a family, a name, besides you. You need to court her properly this time."

I rolled my eyes a little, and she left. Alice was becoming a life coach. She could give it rest, I thought. But she did make some very valid points. I would take it slow for a while, but I would keep an eye on her. She didn't seem to mind last time. I decided to go to Forks. As long as she didn't know it, it wouldn't matter to her. I could watch her sleep. She would never know. If I hurried, I could run there before nightfall! I got up, grabbed my credit card, driver's license, student ID, a thousand dollars in cash, and left running.

**BPOV**

I got home, took a shower, and played in the backyard with Alice for a while. Jake and Leah went home. A few hours later, he called. As it happened, while Jacob and I were at my house and at Dr. Max's the dinner party was supposed to have happened. But it was postponed because Jake and Leah weren't there. It was to be that night instead, and the invitation was still open. I had completely forgotten, in all of yesterday's madness, but I quickly took Alice inside and got her dressed in a pink dress, and white tights. She insisted on bringing her new teddy bear, named Furry, and I acquiesced because it would probably make Jake and Leah happy.

We got to Emily's house quickly. It was literally bursting with werewolves. Several who could not fit in the house were outside. Not to mention the temperature, it was _burning_ inside! The body heat of three humans and ten or so wolves was staggering. I was glad that I had worn a tank top underneath my button down; I quickly unbuttoned my shirt, and took off the t-shirt and tights that Alice was wearing underneath her dress.

Emily, Kim, Rachel, Leah, Claire, Alice, and I claimed the kitchen as a men-free zone. We gossiped, talked, cooked as if for an army, and gave Alice motherly advice that she wouldn't need for at least another ten years, possibly the next forty if I had my way.

When dinner was finally done cooking, we brought it out, with major help from the guys, and set it on a long plastic buffet table outside. The other three tables were meant to seat everybody. We got food, sat down, and dug in. I sat with Jake, Leah, Brady, Kim, and Jared. We were laughing merrily at some joke that Brady was telling, it was apparent that he had the skill to become a professional comic actor, when the four wolves at my table tensed. Jake's nose twitched and he looked at Leah, something passed between them in that moment that was unmistakable. They were expecting something and now it had happened. But what?

Jake smiled at us and went to talk to Sam. Sam took a deep breath, and then shook his head 'yes' minutely. Jake sighed. Sam stood, the rest of the wolves, who by now had smelled whatever this was as well, came to gather around his table. Only Kim, Alice, and I were left at our table. Rachel, who was now alone at her table, came to join us. Jake broke from the circle and came to us. "We've got the scent of a bloodsucker 'bout a mile from here. It's heading toward your house, Bells, so we're going to get a reading on it. We'll take care of it."

"Be careful!" I burst out.

Jake rolled his eyes, and patted my head condescendingly, "Of course, Bella, we always are!" I looked around, most of the wolves had already disappeared into the trees, if I listened hard, I could hear them horsing around, waiting. Only Leah was waiting for Jake. He grabbed her hand, and they ran faster than a human could into the woods. Emily and Claire quickly joined us at our table, both looking worried.

"What did they say?" I asked quickly.

"There's a leech in Forks." Said Claire, "He's headed toward your home, Bella."

"Yeah." I said quietly, and then I remembered the most important thing, "Charlie!"

"He'll be fine." Said Emily, "the boys and Leah have got it covered."

"Yeah." I said quietly. "Sure, sure."

"So, women, since we're the only ones left, I'd better say it now!" Emily grinned widely and looked at me. I smiled back at her, anticipating her words. "I'm pregnant!"

I only smiled; Kim and Rachel immediately were screaming their congratulations and running to give Emily hugs. Claire looked faintly nauseated. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothing much. It's just that the thought of babies sort of grosses me out at the moment." She hesitated, "I'm sure it's just a teenage thing. I don't know."

I patted her on the back, "I didn't want children when I was nineteen either. I just wanted to find the perfect guy, you know?"

"Did you?"

"No." I said quickly. Although I had. "Of course, though, _you_ have!" I said, forgetting that Quil and Claire were, at the moment, just friends. She blushed hard and fast. "What did I say?"

"How did you know?"

"What?"

"How did you know that I like him? Actually, I think I love him!" She was talking about Quil.

"No reason, I just know! Mother's instinct, you know." I said quickly. She smiled tentatively, "No worries, Claire, your secret's safe with me. But I think that you should ask him out. He'd like that."

"Why? You talked to him? When?" She was intrigued.

"Oh no, I wouldn't dream of talking about you with him…but I know he loves you!" I was toeing a narrow line, I was guessing that Quil had not revealed that he had imprinted upon her. How strange! But I suppose it wasn't necessary, she already loved him, I guess. "Well, congratulations Emily!" I said.

"Oh, yes, of course. Congrats!" said Claire.

The wolves were back within the hour, we were delighted to see that all had returned, but we were not so delighted when Leah and Jacob seemed to be seriously wounded. Sam was quite disgruntled and the rest of the pack were growling and pacing, some were unable to turn back into humans, because of their ire.

Jake, however, turned back quickly, in order to heal as a human. Emily was already grabbing bandages and antiseptic ointment. Leah was limping into Emily and Sam's house, obviously she did not want to phase in front of everybody. I rushed into the house, and Emily tossed me some first aid equipment as I ran. Alice stayed with me. Leah was already changed and pulling pants on gingerly. It was her right arm that was torn up.

"What happened to you guys?" I asked her.

"Nothing. It's no big deal. Only, the bloodsuckers have come back." Leah prodded the area of her arm that was bleeding and winced, it was already healing, I had to clean it fast before it healed dirty and gave her an infection. I tried not to look at the blood, and only breathed through my mouth as I bandaged her wound.

"_What!?_ They can't! They're too young…they'll be found out!" I was terrified for the wolves of La Push, The Cullens, and myself. It was clear that they would now follow me until I decided to accept Edward's offer. But Alice wouldn't do that to me! And Esme wouldn't either. Suddenly, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. The only one who really _would_ stalk me was Edward. "How many of them were there?"

"Just one. _Your_ bloodsucker."

I growled under my breath. "He's not _mine_."

"Right, sorry. But anyway, to answer your question, when we saw that it was just one, we closed in for the easy takedown. However, he's the mind reading one. You know, so he heard us coming, and took a defensive position by a grouping of trees. It was in a meadow…oh, you know the place. It's where the pack took down that black-haired leech before I joined."

"Laurent?"

"I don't know his name! Do you expect me to ask their names before I kill them? God, Bella." He grinned, letting me know that she was kidding.

"Anyway, he was just laying there, we thought it would be easy, but then he heard us and was up and ready for a fight. We were in formation, as we should have been, but when Jake saw who it was, the hothead went in for the personal kill. We could have left him to kill it, but lord the leech was fast!" Leah said this with a little bit of unwilling awe in her voice.

"Anyway, he said, 'three legs, mongrel' and started to go for Jake's leg. So, of course, I stepped in and pushed the leech aside. He pushed me away, and managed to break my arm. Clean break, though, it healed on the way home, now it's just torn up…but healing!" Leah looked hopeful. I didn't understand how a broken arm could heal in half of an hour, but whatever happened, happened. "Okay, so after he hit me Jake got all offended and started to go for this bloodsucker's head, even though he's a Cullen and we're not allowed to."

I gasped, "You tried to kill him?"

"Well, Jake did. I managed to pull him away, though, long enough for Sam to tell the leech to scat. It only took a couple of seconds. Jake was fierce 'bout it too! Never thought he had that much in him! I was always faster than him, but when he ran after that prick, thinking of you after he'd gone, you know, years ago…he was wicked fast!" Leah leaned back on the couch, her arm almost healed. "Well, I'm going to put a shirt on now." She went upstairs to get dressed. I heard the water running; it seemed as if she was taking a shower as well.

"Mommy, what's a bloodsucker?" I'd forgotten that Alice was listening into the entire conversation.

"A bloodsucker is just another name for a vampire."

"Like Dracula?"

"No, sweetheart, not like Dracula. These bloodsucker are good bloodsuckers, they only drink animal blood."

"Ewww!"

"What?"

"Blood!"

"Oh, I don't like blood either. It makes me dizzy, but you know that, don't you?" We smiled at her. "You've been really good today, Ali. Do you want to go out for a treat later tonight?

"Yeah!"

"It's a deal, then. Just the two of us, we'll have a girls' night out!" I nuzzled her neck, and she giggled, so ticklish.

Later that night we went out for dessert, the dinner party had mostly been aborted, so after Emily had made her announcement, the guests trickled out. Alice and I went into Port Angeles for a little bit of brownies and ice cream. We shared a sundae, I ate the parts that she didn't finish (most of it), but she enjoyed herself and that's what was important.

We drove back to Emily's after dessert, because Alice had left Fuzzy there. Thankfully, we didn't wake up the expecting couple, and strangely enough, Jacob was still there. Actually, as I thought about it, I realized that it wasn't so strange. Sam was the Alpha, and Jacob the…Beta. I smiled at the name that I'd come up with so long ago. It made sense that they would still be conferring. Emily handed us the bear, and we tried to leave quietly but nothing, short of death, is quiet when there are werewolves around.

Jake stopped us on our way out, "Bells! Alice! I'm going to escort you home, alright?"

My eyebrows came together, "I can take care of myself, Jacob."

"No you can't! He's a full grown vampire!" He seemed appalled.

"Well, you can't exactly be a half-grown vampire!" I hissed at him.

"Calm, Bella. But seriously, please just let me take you home?" He seemed genuinely worried.

"Calm? Oh yes, this coming from the master of 'calm' mister I-phase-on-the-fly-whenever-I-can-prove-my-manliness." I sighed, "Sure, you can come with us. You know, if it was anybody else…"

"Yeah, I know." Jacob understood how much I would have put up a fight if it were Sam or Embry offering to protect me. The three of us headed toward home. I was brought up short when I was on my block. Jacob started to growl under his breath. "Turn around, Bella." He said shortly, "He's in your house."

"What!" I was shocked. Why the _hell_ was he in my house? First of all, that was just creepy! And second of all, I told him specifically to stay _out_ of my house! I knew I loved him now, but I was still raging mad at him! How was I _supposed _to feel? Did he expect me to be happy that he had trespassed onto my property? Goodness!

"Come and sleep at my house for the night, alright?" I readily agreed, and quickly phoned Charlie to let him know that the party had died, but Jake invited me to sleep over with Alice. He asked why, and I made up some quick lie about how Alice was already asleep and I didn't want to move her. He fell for it hook, line, and sinker even though Alice was already five and _way_ over the stage where it was impossible to get her back to sleep. But I forgave him; he had had no experience with any babies, even me. It was a good thing that Sue didn't live with him…yet…she would have seen right through my lie!

I settled into Jacob's couch about an hour later, with Alice snuggled into the crook of my arms. Jacob was upstairs, watching TV with Leah, and the house was silent, yet companionable. I quickly drifted off to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Hello. Aren't you proud of me for updating so quickly?  Thanks for sticking around, guys. Thanks for all of the amazing reviews that everybody has sent me! It really means a lot to me.

This chapter is dedicated to **Hanine**! All of you will soon be able to read Ms. Swan in French thanks to her!

**Disclaimer: This doesn't belong to me.**

**Chapter Thirteen**

It was a deep sleep that Alice pulled me from the next morning, but I was up for her nonetheless. Leah was already up, Jake was not. I got up, took some clothing from Leah (she said it was too small for her), brushed Alice's and my teeth with my finger, and helped Leah with breakfast. By the time it was ready; Jake had come down in just sweatpants and was playing with Alice, his hair completely knotted. I wanted to brush it, but nobody in this house would approve, especially not Jake!

After breakfast, Alice and I left their home and headed to Charlie's house. I knew Edward would not be there in the daylight! And, sure enough, he wasn't.

The day had been uneventful, and Jake had come over to check out the house after nightfall. He confirmed that no vampires had come by the house since the previous night, and the most recent trail of Edward's that they had found was heading back toward New Jersey. It seemed as if he had given up, I acted relieved, but a small part of me was upset. He had given up on me that quickly? I knew Edward better than that…he was up to something!

No matter, I put Alice on her mattress and told her to go to bed, she stayed up 'reading' a little bit, but when I turned out the lights, she instantly fell asleep. She had been beat from a day on the beach. I quickly changed, and got into bed. I was just as tired as Alice!

When I woke up, it was still nighttime, and Edward was standing in my room. There was no trace of Alice, no trace of Charlie, and no sign of any wolfish activity outside. I was confused for a moment, and then realized that I was asleep. I yawned heavily, since this was a dream, nothing bad would happen if I got out of bed a bit early! I wouldn't be sacrificing any sleep. "Hey, Edward!" I said brightly, perhaps I was a teenager again in this dream!

I looked down at my hands, nope; they were still the calloused and wrinkled hands of a woman in her thirties. Edward looked fairly confused. Oh. So this was one of _those_ dreams! It was the _classic_ dream where Edward shows up in my room, Alice is at Jake's for the night and Charlie's fishing with Billy. Edward and I do highly questionable things together and then he leaves. I cherish _these_ dreams. 'I suppose that I'd better make use of the time we've got!' I thought quickly.

I walked up to him, put one hand against either side of his face, and kissed him. "Mmm, I've missed you Edward." I whispered.

He looked horrified, I paused, that never happened in my dreams! I drew back for a second, pouting. "What's wrong?"

"I thought…I thought that you didn't want me in your house…I…" He stuttered and stumbled over his words, something was wrong, very wrong, with this dream. I tried to wake up; I had gotten good at that as many of my dreams were nightmares. I pretended that I was in the forest…with Edward…seventeen years ago…I clenched my eyes shut and concentrated, I knew that I would wake up if I could. It didn't work.

"You're right, Edward, I don't want you in my house…so why are you here?" I decided to go along with the dream; it wasn't as if anything bad was happening.

"I was…well, I was watching you. And I saw that your father had taken Alice to his room, so I thought that it would be alright. I managed to throw off the wolves, it's alright, and we won't be bothered." He smiled tentatively. "Of course, if you want me to go, I will."

"Go? Wolves? What? You aren't supposed to say things like that! Alice is at Jacob's isn't she? What do you mean?" My eyebrows drew together, and my mouth pulled up into a grimace. "I don't understand why you're not following my directions!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're in _my_ dream, you follow _my_ directions!"

"What? Dream? I'm not in a dream, and neither are you! I'm here, right now, and you just…" He was horrified; upset…I could see it in his eyes. He was a good liar, yes, but I could see right through him. It was a shame that I couldn't have seen through him seventeen years ago when he lied to me in the forest.

I screamed a long, high pitched scream. "You're _not_ a dream? Get out of my house! Get _out_! Oh God!" Edward looked scared of me; he crossed the room quickly and left out of the window. Suddenly, but not unexpectedly, Charlie came running into the room.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Yes, I'm fine, thank you. Bad dream, that's all." I was still panting, I didn't know why. I sat down on my bed.

Charlie came to sit next to me; Alice padded into the room, she made almost no sound in her footed pajamas, and sat on my lap. "Are you still having nightmares, Bella?" my father asked.

"Yes, at least twice a week." I said truthfully.

There was a banging on the front door, Charlie went to get it. "Was it another spider, Mommy?" asked Alice, "No, Alice, but what would you say if I told you it was a bloodsucker?"

"Vampires aren't real, Mommy." Alice smiled happily, presumably because I remembered our conversation.

I giggled halfheartedly and tickled her tummy with my index finger. "I'm sorry for making you wake up, Ali. Do you think that you can go back to bed?"

"Only with you."

"Alright. C'mere." I lay back with her in my arms. Apparently she really was tired, she was asleep within minutes. I pulled on a bathrobe that had been hanging in my closet and made my way downstairs to see who had come to the door. I was guessing that Jake or Leah was there.

I was right, Jake was sitting at my kitchen table, and Charlie was in the kitchen. "Jake." I said weakly. "Thanks for coming over."

"Yup, I heard your scream and got here as fast as I could. There was a bloodsucker in your room. It was him, Edward, wasn't it?" He seemed angry, upset.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I…he came in through the window, I swear I didn't let him in!" I knew, suddenly, what he was upset about.

"Oh, no worries, Bella." Okay, so maybe I didn't know why he was upset, "I'm just angry that he slipped by us. We were watching him, keeping our distance of course, but keeping track of him. And suddenly he disappeared. So, we thought he went back to the house, and we aren't allowed to go _that_ far over our border by Sam even though there's only one Cullen here. We went home, and only Quil and I stayed on patrols. 'Course we were joking around and totally distracted. Your scream was probably the only one, besides one of the other wolves, which I could recognize from that far away. I still hear it in my sleep sometimes." He said jokingly. "Anyway, raced back here, heard you screaming at him to get out, saw the coward running away, fought the urge to pursue him, phased, and knocked on your door." He shrugged. "I should have chased him a bit. I hate vampires, that one in particular." He growled…almost…it wasn't as good as some that I had heard. But I didn't want to think about that.

Charlie walked in laughing, "Vampires? What?" He was carrying a kettle, and a teacup for each of us.

"Oh," I laughed nervously as I poured the tea, "just discussing work with Jake. We're going to start Dracula after we finish Shakespeare. Jake was telling me how he dislikes Dracula." I opened my mouth to say more, but didn't, just in case Jacob hadn't actually _read_ Dracula.

"Well, that sounds like an interesting lesson plan." Charlie said good-naturedly.

"That's that _I_ was saying, Charlie." Jake said sarcastically. I sighed with relief; we had dodged _this_ particular wooden stake. We all sipped our tea slowly.

"Anyway, Jake, what brings you here at this time of night?" said Charlie.

"I was actually wondering if I could grab Bella and take her out for a bit. I know it's strange, at this time of night, but Leah really needs to see her. She wouldn't say why, though." Jake lied quickly.

"Is everything alright?" Charlie said concernedly.

"Of course!" Jake assured him, "If it wasn't, she would have told me. I'm sure it's just something that, well, just isn't for us guys to ever know!" He flashed Charlie a grin. Charlie looked sort of confused, but nodded when I got up and out my jacket on.

"Take care of Alice, she's in my bed. And I'll get the dishes when I get back, alright Dad?" I said.

"No way, I've got them now. You baby me too much." He said. I remembered him saying those exact words to me when I had just moved in with him. I smiled slightly.

Jake took my hand and we trotted off into the forest. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know. I needed an excuse, and you just happened to be sitting there…" Jake grinned.

"Oh. So this is totally a random walk?" I asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. In about an hour or two, we'll go back and Charlie will think that you've actually been to my house."

"Sounds good." I was content to walk around with simply Jacob. Maybe Leah would join us later. "Is Leah going to meet us anywhere?" I asked him.

"Nah, I don't think so. She was running patrols last night, she needs to rest."

"You're so considerate, Jake. Did I ever tell you what a great boyfriend you were? You don't need to answer if I'm making you uncomfortable, but you were. Right when I needed you most, you know?" I didn't want to offend him, I mean, he _was_ dating somebody else, but I couldn't remember if I'd ever thanked him properly for being so awesome.

"Um, you're welcome, I guess?"

"You know, Jake, I'm sure Leah would love it if you proposed to her. You guys get along so well, and you're both such amazing people. I'll bet that she's only waiting until you pop the question, she'll pretty much _die_ of happiness!" I patted his hand.

"I'd better not ask, then! Wouldn't want that to happen!" he laughed.

"Okay, maybe I didn't exactly phrase that correctly…" we laughed together this time.

It was about half an hour before something exciting happened. Jake stopped in his tracks, grabbed my shoulder, and steered me in a completely different direction, telling me to go this way. I readily agreed, knowing that Jacob could get me back home, no matter where we went. Ten minutes later I tripped and fell, cutting my hand on a rock. Jake turned us again after that.

It was about thirty minutes after that that we came to a very familiar place. I hadn't been here since I figured it out about the wolves…but I'd never forgotten it. Our Meadow.

_He_ had taken me here, once only, but it was the most beautiful place that I'd ever seen. It looked much different in the night, though. As we approached, there was something in sitting in the center. It was pale white, and sort of glowing in the darkness. How strange, I had thought that vampires only glowed in the sunlight. I looked up. It was a full moon. So, I guess vampires sparkled in the sun, and glowed in the moon. "Edward." I whispered.

The creature in the meadow who I had called Edward, for it was he, turned its head and stood. The leonine grace took my breath away. And then the tremors began. I would say that a pretty substantial earthquake was going on if I hadn't been standing next to a werewolf. Edward was making leaps and bounds, going just above human speed, toward us. Jacob didn't even bother to take his clothing off; he just burst out of his shoes and shorts, growling. "Jacob!" I screamed.

Jake placed himself in front of me, slipping into a crouch. Edward didn't come within Jacob's range, but he was snarling fiercely, shaking his head at some thought of Jacob's. "What were you doing out here with her…at this time of night? What were you going to do, propose to her?"

Jacob didn't say anything, he couldn't, obviously, he only crouched down further. Perhaps he was thinking an answer. I didn't care. "If he was? Then what would you do Edward? It is really any of your business?" I shouted over Jacob's noise.

"I don't know, Bella, rip him to pieces? I love you! I told you this already." He shouted at me.

Jacob's eyes bulged. "You're right, Edward, you _did_ tell me, but you're too damned late! You should have told me years ago! Look, you can't read my mind, but you can read Jacob's. He'll show you what I was like when you left, maybe. Maybe I should forgive you, maybe not. Then, there's the small matter that you _stole_ my stuff, lied to me, and didn't even let me say goodbye to Alice, my best friend!"

"I never really _stole_ your things, Bella; I hid them…under your floorboards." His eyes were in pain, probably for the same reason Jacob was grinning. I was sure that some unforgiving images were being sent his way.

"I know. I found them. Went to a shrink because of them, you know." I wrenched up my sleeves, "Made these cuts 'cause of them." I let him make of that what he would.

"You're ruining my life, Edward. Either leave, or tell me _what_ exactly you're after!" It was true that he was ruining my life, he was separating me from Alice, having me force her on others more and more frequently, he was separating me from what I loved to do, teach, he was keeping me away from my home, and keeping me from having a good night of sleep. But at the same time, I couldn't bear to let him go. I wished that he would just back off…or stick around forever, I couldn't decide which!


End file.
